


some nights (I wish that my lips could build a castle)

by teen_content_queen



Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: AU, But mostly fluff, F/M, Lucas and Jens are the crackship of dreams, M/M, Robbe's POV and Lucas' POV, Sander and Robbe are in love in every universe including this one, There will be fluff, a little Angst too, and everyone learning the power of healthy communication, because this is SKAM and that's what we learn from every season, van der stoffels, we're gonna see all of the NL and WTFock babies at some point probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22386547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teen_content_queen/pseuds/teen_content_queen
Summary: An AU where Robbe x Sander and Jens x Lucas VDH deal with growing up, fighting and falling in love.*the chapter titles are inspired by Fun's Some Nights album but the actually story is only kind of inspired by the songs*We're going to try for weekly updates. Enjoy!
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden, Liv Reijners/Noah Boom, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans, Zoë Loockx/Senne De Smet
Comments: 29
Kudos: 253





	1. some nights - intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June 2020 - the beginning of summer and the beginning of Van der Stoffels
> 
> This is a prequel to the rest of the series.

The twinkling lights overhead swayed in the warm summer breeze, pulling along the sweet, sticky scent of alcohol, weed and sweaty bodies. Robbe thought about that combination and how it should be revolting, and yet here he was drinking it in. It was the smell of Antwerp in the summertime and it reminded him of so many good times he had had in this city with his friends. Long days at the skate park and endless nights gathering for parties and late-night meals of fried foods. He loved summer because he had no responsibilities. He could spend his time how he wanted: with his friends, with his mama. And this summer, he wanted to spend all of his time with his adoring boyfriend.

He scanned the crowd now, looking for the familiar platinum blonde hair, warmed by the yellow hue of the lights from its usually frosty white to a creamier hue. He spotted him now, head back with laughter at whatever Aaron had said. Judging by Moyo’s face, Robbe could tell the laughter was most likely directed at Aaron instead of for him.

With a sigh, he started to make his way through the crowd, all packed onto the rooftop of a graduating student whose name Robbe had already forgotten. He waved to Jana and Luca, who were doing shots at the makeshift bar and slid past Zoe and Senne, so lost in their own world that they wouldn’t notice if a bomb went off. Robbe smiled a little, happy to see them happy after their brief break up. He couldn’t stand to see Zoe sad for another day.

He finally got to his group of friends, absentmindedly linking an arm around Sander’s waist as he slid into the spot next to him. Sander leaned down and kissed his head, his brown curly hair shorter for the hot summer months ahead.

“I love you.” Sander whispered in his ear, sending a small shiver down Robbe’s back.

Robbe turned to meet his gaze, his green eyes reflecting the small yellow orbs of the twinkle lights. Smiling, Robbe stood on his tiptoes to kiss him softly before he sank back to the ground and leaned into Sander. He looked around the group and realized they were missing a member.

“Where’s Jens?”

* * *

Kes had disappeared a few minutes ago, leaving Lucas alone in a crowd of strangers. He said he was just going to get beers, but Lucas had seen Isa’s picture pop up and knew he was really trying to find a quiet place to talk to her. She was just getting back from a trip to Berlin with the girls and Lucas was sure she wanted Kes to know they’d arrived home safely.

Lucas watched the twinkle lights sway in the breeze, ruffling his favorite green shirt, unbuttoned a little further than usual as an act of celebration for the beginning of summer. Sipping on his beer, he grimaced a little at the warm dregs at the bottom of the bottle before tossing the empty container into a nearby trash can and heading to find another.

Pushing past bodies, he nearly bumped into a couple too busy making out to notice anyone around them, the petite blonde girl nearly kicking him when her boyfriend lifted her up to deepen the kiss.

“Senne!” She squeaked, offering a hand of apology towards Lucas as he passed.

Lucas continued on, moving towards the large group gathered around what he could only assume was the bar area, just past the door to the exit. He briefly considered the exit as he passed, the allure of the unknown city pulling him away from the rowdy, sweaty crowded rooftop. But he couldn’t leave Kes, at least not without telling him. So he pushed away, sliding his way through bodies until he reached the table at the center.

Stacked haphazardly with cups and bottles, he reached into a bowl full of ice to take out a beer, much colder than his last. He made a mental note to finish this one quicker, the warm aftertaste of the last still slimy on his tongue.

“Can you grab me one?” A low voice behind him asked. Lucas reached into the bowl again, warm fingers tingling against the cold ice.

He turned, ready to hand off the beer when his heart skipped a beat. The most beautiful boy he’d ever seen was staring back at him, hand out for the beer and deep brown eyes wide with surprise. The boy’s brown hair fluttered a little as another summer breeze swept through the rooftop and the quiet flap of Lucas’ shirt against his chest suddenly reminded him just how many buttons he’d left undone tonight. The brunette across from him licked his bottom lip, biting slowly before softly reaching out and taking the beer Lucas had awkwardly been holding out for him.

“Thanks.” He said, taking another look at Lucas before he started to turn.

Lucas could feel his stomach do a somersault as the boy turned away and felt a pang in his heart that he could only describe as fear. Without thinking, he reached out and tapped the guy’s shoulder, almost catching the white fabric of his oversized t-shirt between his fingers. He turned around again, his piercing sparking as it caught the light.

“I’m Lucas.” Lucas said, feeling stupid now. What was he doing? He wasn’t really sure. He just knew he needed this guy to stay.

“Jens. You smoke Lucas?” he asked, pulling a joint from his pocket. Lucas nodded, biting his lip and following Jens through the crowd to a quiet corner.

* * *

“Where is Jens?” Robbe asked again, realizing that he’d been gone for a while.

“He was supposed to be getting me a beer.” Moyo complained, looking around.

“Maybe he met a girl?” Aaron asked.

It wouldn’t be the first time that Jens disappeared when a cute girl caught his eye. Robbe chuckled softly and looked around, scanning the crowd for his brunette best friend. He wasn’t terribly worried about finding him, more curious than anything. After a minute of searching, Robbe returned his attention back to the group.

“I was thinking maybe flowers?” Moyo asked.

“That’s the most romantic thing you can think of?” Sander asked, a familiar smirk playing on his lips. Robbe rolled his eyes with a fond smile.

“Not all of us can paint our boyfriend’s face on the side of a building.” Moyo teased.

“That would be more Noor’s thing anyway.” Aaron added, getting a playful shove from Moyo.

“How about a nice note?” Robbe asked. Moyo grimaced a little but Aaron’s eyes lit up.

“That’s a great idea.”

“No, no. I’m no good with words. I’ll just sound stupid.”

“If it’s from the heart, it can never sound stupid.” Sander said, giving Robbe’s hand a small squeeze.

“Besides, Noor will love whatever you write because it’s from you.” Aaron offered.

Moyo just let out a breath, muttering thanks to the guys for their advice before heading in the direction of the drinks. Aaron followed for a moment before peeling off towards Amber, deep in conversation with Luca and Jana. She smiled when he approached, giving him a small kiss. Robbe laughed a little and then looked back at his own boyfriend.

“Want to get some air?” He asked simply. Sander nodded, letting Robbe pull him towards the edge of the rooftop.

They stood looking out over the city, the sounds of traffic melding with the party behind them. Robbe could feel Sander’s gaze on him even before he turned away from the bright lights below.

“Do you know you’re the most beautiful man in the world?”

“In this universe?”

“In every universe.” Sander said, kissing him.

Robbe felt the bars of the rooftop railing digging into his back as Sander pressed up against him. Robbe let his hands travel from the wrought iron bars of the railing to around Sander’s neck, fingers playing with the baby hairs there.

He whined a little when Sander pulled away a few minutes later.

“Jens?” Sander whispered.

“Did you just call me Jens?” Robbe said, eyes flying open to stare at his boyfriend.

But Sander’s attention wasn’t on Robbe, but on something across the rooftop. Robbe followed his gaze and sure enough, there was Jens, hidden in the shadows of a distant corner, face lit by nothing more than a few twinkle lights and the lit end of what must be a joint.

Robbe watched the small floating flame lift to Jens’ mouth as he inhaled and then watched the flame float across, towards another boy, face masked in shadows.

“Who’s that with him?” Sander asked.

Robbe squinted through the darkness but couldn’t make out the boy’s face, just a green shirt, unbuttoned and a gold necklace catching the light from above.

“I don’t know.”

“We could go over there, if you want.” Sander offered.

“Or we could stay here and keep kissing.” Robbe said.

It wasn’t that Robbe didn’t want to meet Jens’ new friend. It’s just that he wanted to kiss Sander more. Sander smirked at him, leaning in and letting their lips almost touch before he pulled away, getting a low groan from Robbe.

“I think the kid looks nice. I want to ask about his—”

Robbe pulled Sander into him, crashing their lips together and shutting him up.

* * *

“Only took a couple hours to get Robbe down after that.” Jens said, with a laugh.

Lucas laughed too, thinking how much sound of Jens’ laugh. He tried to focus on something else, tried not to stare too long at Jens’ lips as he took a hit. He looked towards the skyline, amused by the couple making out along the railing. A lot of platinum blondes at this party. Did they share a hairdresser?

He looked back at Jens as Jens handed him the joint, almost finished now. Lucas hadn’t expected much when he’d followed him over here, driven by intrigue and instinct more than actually reasoning, but here they were, already sharing embarrassing stories with each other, like they’d known each other for forever instead of only an hour. He took a hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs and his brain. Letting it cloud away all of his worries. He just wanted to enjoy this moment. Not overthink everything for a change.

“Where did you go?” Jens asked. Lucas looked at him, feeling the effects of the weed. Jens looked even more beautiful than before.

“Nowhere, I’m right here.”

“Maybe physically, but mentally not so much.”

Lucas smiled a sly smile and held up the almost finished joint.

“Blame this.”

Jens laughed again and Lucas smiled, happy that he was the one making Jens laugh.

“You’re cute when you laugh.”

Lucas heard the words before he realized that they had come out of his mouth. He felt his jaw drop a little as his brain went into recovery mode, trying to think of anything to take back what he’d said. Jens just stared at him for a moment, the silence thick between them. 

“You’re always cute.” Jens finally said, grinning.

Lucas thought he was dreaming. That he’d misheard him. He was about to ask Jens to repeat himself when Jens leaned forward and brushed their noses together.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” He whispered, breath tickling the skin above Lucas’ lip. Lucas didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded as Jens closed the distance between them.

Jens tasted like cheap beer and weed and Lucas let himself scoot closer, tucked in the shadows of the party. His hands wove through Jens’ hair, pulling gently at the dark brown strands as the vanilla from his shampoo hit Lucas like a wave.

Lucas wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, not pulling apart until the music started to die down and the voices of the party goers got louder. Lucas’ phone vibrated in his pocket as Jens pulled away, a dopey grin on his face. He carefully patted down Lucas’ hair while Lucas fished his phone from his pocket. He had a few missed texts from Kes, all variations on _“where are you?”_ sent over the last thirty minutes. So at least he knew roughly how long they’d been kissing.

He looked at Jens, still grinning at him.

“What?” Lucas said, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing. I just like looking at you.”

Lucas rolled his eyes and looked away, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

“When do you go back to Utrecht?”

“Tomorrow morning.” Lucas said, reality hitting like a ton of bricks.

He’d just spent thirty minutes kissing a guy he would probably never see again. Jens’ face fell.

“Oh.”

“I’ll probably visit again this summer. I could always…” Lucas held up his phone, trying to seem much more nonchalant about this than he felt. He had no plans to visit Antwerp again, but if that’s what it took to kiss Jens, he’d do it.

Jens smiled, taking the phone from Lucas and quickly punching his number in. For good measure he took a selfie and set it as the contact photo.

“So you don’t confuse me with all of your other summer hookups.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Somewhere across the rooftop, someone yelled Jens’ name.

“I guess I should—”

“Yeah I need to find my friend—”

They both stood up, untangling from each other. Jens took a step forward before turning back to Lucas.

“I’m glad I met you.”

“Me too.”

With that, Jens kissed him one more time and then headed out of the serenity of their alcove, disappearing into the noise and bustle of the dying party.

Lucas looked at his phone and texted Kes, “ _Just smoking with some people. Where are you?”_

He looked at the message screen and opened a new message, tying Jens into the receiver line. Staring at the blank message, he typed quickly, trying not to psych himself out. He snapped a quick selfie, face warm in the yellow light and hair a little wild from Jens’ fingers. He sent the picture alongside the message, pocketing the phone again.

_“In case you confuse me with all of you other summer hookups.”_

He and Kes were wandering through Antwerp when Lucas’ phone pinged in his pocket. It was Jens.

_“That’s not possible. Sleep well. See you again soon?”_

He smiled at the message.

“We should visit Antwerp again this summer.” He mused, looking to Kes. “I kind of like it here.”


	2. some nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's September 2020.  
> For Robbe and Sander, that means it's time for another student art showcase, and the chance for Robbe to meet Sander's art school friends, including a new Dutch exchange student and his red-lipped girlfriend.  
> For Lucas and Jens, that means 3 months of train rides and weekends spent together; but this is just a casual hookup, right?

Lucas pulled the beanie from his head, running a hand through his curly hair and sinking deeper into his seat. The train had been sitting at the station for ten minutes now and Lucas was getting irritated. He just wanted to be on his way to Antwerp already. He looked at his phone as Jen’s name flashed on the screen.

_ Relax dude. You’ll be here soon. _

He contemplated a response, trying to sound more flirtatious than desperate. Because he was desperate and he felt silly about it. He and Jens weren’t even dating. They had just been hanging out for the last three months. It was casual. He wanted to be casual. He didn’t want to be desperate. 

He looked at the train doors, still open. A burly man stepped on board, briefcase swinging at his side. Lucas didn’t even have to go to Antwerp tonight if he didn’t want. He briefly considered getting off the train just to prove to himself he wasn’t desperate but stayed firmly rooted in his seat. 

He looked at his phone again, Jens’ message unanswered. It was almost 7 now and he couldn’t help but do the mental math. If his train arrived at 8 tonight like it was supposed to, that gave him roughly 44 hours until he’d be on the 4 pm Sunday train back. Every second he sat in this train station cut down on that 44 hours he had with Jens, the only 44 hours he got until one of them was able to make the trip again, and with exams coming up, Lucas wasn’t sure when that would be. 

Lucas looked at his phone again, scrolling through his conversation with Jens and smiling at Jens’ selfie from this morning, somehow still sexy with bed head and a toothbrush in his mouth. There was another picture following, of Jens’ bathroom counter.

_ Did you actually clean your bathroom? Color me impressed. _

_ Ha. Asshole.  _

Jens had followed up by sending the picture again, this time with a poorly drawn circle around the toothbrush holder. It had taken Lucas, still groggy with sleep, a minute to realize why he’d circled it. There were two toothbrushes in the holder. One blue, the same from Jens’ selfie and the other green. 

_ No sense in carrying a toothbrush all the way here.  _

Looking at the texts again, Lucas’ heart stuttered in his chest.

But Lucas’ focus shifted when the doors ahead of him finally closed and the train began its journey. He texted Jens.

_ We just left. Guess you’re stuck with me now. _

“Lucas?” 

Lucas looked up, and blanched when he saw Liv looking back at him, lips bright with her signature red lipstick. 

“Hey.”

“Hi. Wow, crazy seeing you here. You’re going to Antwerp?”

“Yeah. Visiting a friend.” He said, the word friend coming out weird and strangled. If Liv noticed though, she didn’t say anything, just smiling at him.

“You going to see Noah?” He asked.

“He’s got a big art show tonight. He’s excited for it.”

“And excited to see you, I’m sure.” Lucas offered.

“It’ll be my first time getting to Antwerp since he left for school.”

That explained why they hadn’t run into each other before. Lucas wondered how many times he could be “visiting a friend” before Liv got suspicious.

“It’s a cool city. Kes and I came a bunch over the summer.”

That was only a little bit of a lie. He and Kes had been a few times together, but most of Lucas’ trips had been solo. And while Liv knew he was gay, he wasn’t quite sure she needed to know he was having a casual fling with a guy living in another country. 

Liv’s eyes moved towards the back of the train.

“I should get back to my seat.” 

“Enjoy your trip.”

“You too.”

* * *

“Who are you texting?” Robbe teased, watching Jens across from him on the couch, smiling down at his phone like he had been all night. Longer really. He’d been like this all summer. 

Jens looked up at him, pocketing the phone and shrugging. 

“No one. I was playing a game.”

“Sure.”

Robbe knew there was a  _ someone _ . He’d sensed it when Jens had come out to him at the skate park almost three months ago. The two of them had gone to get some fresh air and work off their hangovers, talking about the party the night before, the first of the summer, when Jens told him “I’m bi.” 

Since then, Robbe had caught Jens smiling at his phone more often than even when he was dating Jana, and Jens suddenly had family friends he needed to visit in the Netherlands every few weeks. But Robbe didn’t push it. He knew that Jens would tell him when he was ready. Apparently he wasn’t ready now but he kicked Robbe’s leg. 

“Don’t you have an art show to get to?”

Robbe looked at his watch. It was 7:45. He looked over his shoulder, towards the door. 

“Honey, you almost ready?” 

They heard shuffling and a muttered curse word as Sander ran into something. Jens and Robbe exchanged a look, biting back laughter.

“You okay out there man?” Jens called. 

Suddenly, Sander’s head was popping out from around the corner, a sly smile on his face. 

“Yes. Stupid Docs.”

“You are not wearing your Doc Martens tonight.” Robbe said, disbelief in his tone. 

Sander raised a questioning eyebrow, coming fully into view in the doorframe. Robbe couldn’t help but smile at him, wide eyed. 

“Hi handsome.” He said, admiring how good Sander looked in his dress pants and black button down. 

“So I can wear the Docs.” Sander said, taking Robbe’s praise as an acquittal. Robbe rolled his eyes and pointed towards the shoe rack in the hall. 

“No. Your professor said to dress nicely.”

Sander pouted for a moment before leaning down and kissing Robbe. Robbe was careful not to ruffle his shirt and instead let his fingers rest on Sander’s cheeks, holding his face in place for a beat before pulling away.

“No more distractions. We need to go. Put on the shoes your mom got you for Christmas.”

Sander shuffled out and Robbe pulled himself from the couch, smoothing his own dress shirt. He looked at Jens for approval. 

“Looking good man.”

Jens put out his hand, letting Robbe pull him up from the couch. 

“Any plans for the night?” Robbe asked. Jens shook his head. 

“Probably keep it low key. Play video games or something.”

“If you’re bored later, come meet up with us. We’ll probably do something after the show with Sander’s school friends.”

“Sounds good. I’ll let you know.” Jens said, noncommittal. 

Robbe could tell it was probably a no just from Jens’ tone, but he made the offer anyway. He watched his best friend check his phone again before he gathered his things. Keys and a coat on one end of the couch while his wallet and beanie had ended up on the coffee table. 

“You’re a disaster, you know that?”

Jens gave him the finger and a chuckle. 

“Have fun tonight.”

“You too.” Robbe offered, watching Jens walk out. He heard the front door close a moment later.

“Sander, we really need to go or we’re going to be late.” Robbe called. 

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sander said, appearing around the corner again. 

Robbe did a quick scan of his feet, satisfied to see his dress shoes and not Sander’s beloved Doc Martens. Sander offered his hand and Robbe took it, Sander’s hands warm and soft on his skin.

They rode their bikes side by side, careful and awkward in their dress clothes.

“When do your parents get home tomorrow?” Robbe asked.

“I think my mom said around dinner time. She said they’ll be at the showcase so I guess that means they can’t be too late.”

Robbe hummed in response, thinking about Sander’s parents and his own mom attending the show tomorrow. It would be the first time they all met and Robbe couldn’t help but be nervous. He pushed the feeling down, trying to stay in the moment. He’d promised Sander that they would live minute by minute, and that’s what he was going to do. 

When they arrived, they quickly locked up their bikes and headed for the front door. Other art students, some of whom Robbe recognized, quietly filed into the school. Robbe could feel the nerves in the air, a frantic buzzing as each student prepared to have their works judged for the first time of the semester. Sander caught his eye and gave Robbe an easy smile, but Robbe knew his boyfriend well enough to catch the faint look of panic in his eyes. Robbe gave him a comforting smile back and reached down, squeezing Sander’s hand in his own while Sander led the way inside. 

* * *

Lucas let the flow of people disembarking pull him away from the stuffy, hot air of the train into the cooler station. The lights overhead buzzed as people cut by him, voices a cacophony of expressions and languages. Lucas had grown to appreciate the Antwerp train station, with its unique assortment of smells, sounds and people. He’d watched parents soothe crying children while lovers quarreled and travelers oriented themselves using phones and maps and guides. 

He looked towards the exit, where Jens always waited for him by the same doorway, as consistent in his habits as the loud whistles that marked the comings and goings of the trains. He could see him now, one hand sunk into the pocket of his maroon hoodie, the other scrolling absentmindedly through his phone. Lucas’ phone buzzed with an incoming text from Jens. 

_ I’m here.  _

Lucas chuckled.  _ I can see that. _

Jens looked up, eyes scanning the incoming crowd. When they found Lucas, Jens smiled at him so fondly, Lucas went momentarily weak in the knees. He looked around, scanning the crowd for Zoe but she was gone. He was close enough to Jens now to see he’d switched out his usual hoop earring for a dangling silver feather. Lucas’ fingers went to the earring, twisting the charm softly. He finally looked from the earring to Jens, chocolate brown eyes meeting his. 

“Hi.” Lucas offered.

“Hi.” Jens said, leaning in. 

Lucas met him halfway, the kiss soft and sweet. Lucas felt his nerves over his train ride melting as Jens’ finger ran through his hair, across his back and finally settled on the insides of his wrist, gliding down to intertwine their fingers. 

Jens broke the kiss first and Lucas did his best to muffle a groan. Jens didn’t seem to notice and raised his free hand to grab Lucas’ tote from where Lucas had discarded it. 

“I can carry that.” Lucas offered, suddenly shy. Jens just rolled his eyes and kept a firm hold of the old bag’s worn handles. 

“You hungry?”

“Starving.”

Jens kept their fingers locked together, dragging Lucas out of the station and into the crisp fall night. 

* * *

“Robbe, this is Noah.” Sander said, smiling wide as Robbe shook hands with the boy, light eyes partially hidden by his brown hair. He smiled at Robbe with ease and Robbe noticed nail polish on his paint stained fingertips. 

“Nice to meet you Robbe. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Noah offered. 

“Same.” Robbe said. 

And it was true. Sander had told Robbe a lot about his classmates in the past few weeks, and Robbe could tell that he had a special fondness for Noah, often partnering with him on in-class assignments. Robbe was happy to finally put a face to the name. 

“This is my girlfriend Liv.” Noah said, beaming at the girl to his right, who smiled back at him with a soft gaze. She turned to Sander and Robbe, hand outstretched. Robbe thought instantly of Zoe when he saw her red lipstick.

“Nice to meet you both.” 

“Do you study here too Liv?” Robbe asked.

“No I have another year of high school. I’m just visiting.”

“From here?”

“Utrecht. In the Netherlands?”

“I know it. My friend Jens has family friends there. It’s not too far, right?”

“A little over an hour if the trains are on time.”

“Which they almost never are.” Noah said with a groan. 

Robbe nodded. Noah leaned in and kissed Liv’s forehead and she snaked her hand into his between them. 

Noah looked past them now, catching the wave of a professor.

“See you guys later.” He said, giving Sander a nod as he and Liv walked off together. Robbe watched them go together.

“Noah’s been talking about her visit all week. I’m glad to see them so happy. They really love each other, you know?” Sander said admiringly. 

“I think you have to love someone a lot to travel to another country to see them.” Robbe said.

“Would you do that for me?” Sander teased.

“In every universe.”

* * *

Jens tasted like salt and grease as Lucas kissed him, the plate in front of them covered in fry crumbs and ketchup. 

“You’re avoiding the question.” Jens said, pulling back and earning an eye roll from Lucas.

“It was fine.” Lucas said. 

And it was. He had come out to his friends earlier in the week. Kes and the guys had taken it with their usual nonchalance while Isa and Ralph had jumped into “find Lucas a boyfriend” mode, sending him Instagram profiles for every gay teen in the Netherlands. Lucas left that detail out now, as he retold Jens the stories of their reactions. 

“I’m lucky to have them.” Lucas said simply.

“When will I get to meet them?” 

Lucas nearly spit out the sip of water he’d taken. He looked at Jens in surprise. 

“Oh.”

“Oh?’

“Sorry, I just didn’t know we were doing the whole meeting the friends thing…” Lucas said. 

He felt his heart drop when Jens’ face fell. Jens looked at the plate in front of them, frowning a little as he picked at a napkin.

“I mean we don’t have to.” Jens said, voice low and soft. 

“I just didn’t know. Seems like a big step for…” Lucas said, gesturing between them to explain.

He wasn’t sure what to call what they were doing. Instead of comforting Jens as he hoped, Lucas’ words seemed to make it worse. 

“Okay.” Jens said, resigned. 

They sat in silence for a moment, before Jens finally looked at Lucas, eyes missing their usual sparkle.

“If you don’t want a relationship, that’s cool…”

“Wait. What? You do?” Lucas asked. 

“Of course I do.” Jens said with breathy huff, looking at Lucas like he was an idiot. 

To be fair, Lucas felt like an idiot. He had never considered that his deepening feelings for Jens might be reciprocated. He had just assumed Jens wouldn’t want to be tied down. At a loss for words, he pulled Jens in for a kiss.

“So just for clarification, we’re dating.” Jens said, after they’d pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. 

“We’re dating.”

“Then I guess it’s time you met my friends.” Jens said, a mischievous smirk on his face as he pulled Lucas up from their table. 

* * *

Robbe and Sander stood with Noah and Liv, looking at the wall where Noah and Sander’s work hung.

“I like the colors you used at the bottom. Really captures her excitement.” Sander said. Noah nodded in thanks. 

“This is weird.” Liv whispered to Robbe, shoulders brushing as she leaned in.

“If it makes you feel better, Sander painted a mural of my face on the side of a building.”

There is a painting of Liv and a drawing of Robbe on full display in front of them. 

“That does, actually.” Liv said with a laugh. 

“What are you two giggling at?” Noah asked.

“Nothing baby.” Liv said, giving him a small kiss.

“You could have given me a heads up that I was going to be the subject of your piece.” Robbe said with a laugh, giving Sander a fond eye roll. Sander laughed. 

“The price of being my muse, angel.”

Robbe kissed him softly, smiling into it before wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Is that a hickey?” Liv asked, leaning in to get a better look at the drawing of Robbe. Noah laughed and looked too. Robbe gave Sander’s side a squeeze.

* * *

As they walked up to the school, Lucas felt the nag of a faint memory in his head. Something he should remember but couldn’t. He blamed his distraction on the sensation of Jens’ hand in his, soft and sturdy. They’d held hands of course, but with the uncertainty behind them, there was a reassuring permanence to Jens’ fingers intertwined with his own. 

Inside, they were hit by a wall of sound, the quiet discussions of various groups building on each other to fill the large room. Lucas looked around. From pictures, he knew what Robbe and Sander looked like and assumed it would be hard to miss the platinum blonde. 

“Robbe!” Jens called, waving towards the back wall. Lucas looked over and felt his jaw drop as he stumbled forward, catching sight of a familiar couple next to Robbe and Sander.

“Jens!” The smaller boy responded, smiling at them. 

His eyes went a little wide as he noticed Lucas and Jens’ interlocked hands and Lucas saw Noah and Liv following his gaze. Lucas swore he thought Liv gasped. When they were finally in front of the group, Jens finally released Lucas’ hand. Lucas lets out an amused sigh, resigning himself to the insanity of the situation. He cleared his throat and gestured to Liv and Noah, who still looked shocked to see him so far from home and holding hands with a boy.

“Well Jens, you wanted to meet my friends. Liv, Noah this is my boyfriend Jens. You two must be Robbe and Sander.”

Lucas extended his hand, and Robbe, seemingly sensing his desperation, took it, pulling him into a hug.

* * *

Robbe pulled the covers of Sander’s bed higher, enjoying the first truly chilly night of the fall. Sander was already in bed, flannel pajama pants soft on Robbe’s calves as Sander hooked his legs around Robbe’s. 

“I like Lucas.” Robbe said. 

Sander hummed, encouraging Robbe to continue, which he did.

“I mean I’m surprised Jens has a boyfriend and that his boyfriend knows your friends, but I like him. He seems cool. Funny too.”

Sander swallowed, and found Robbe’s hand under the covers. 

“Is it weird though? That Jens has a boyfriend. For you I mean.”

“No.” Robbe said. Because it wasn’t. It was shocking because he hadn’t even known that Jens was talking to anyone, but Jens had come out as bi so it wasn’t entirely surprising that he was dating a guy. Sander continued,

“I know that you used to have a crush on him—“

“I used to. But it was never meant to be like that for Jens and I."

“Oh, and why is that?” Sander said, teasing. In the dark, Robbe could hear him smiling. 

He shifted, finding Sander’s lips with his own.

“Because it's you and me. Forever. In every universe.” 


	3. we are young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe and Sander's parents meet and the boys hang out with Robbe's adoptive parents Zoe and Senne. Meanwhile, the cat's out of the bag on Van der Stoffels, and Lucas' friends are excited to meet his hot Belgian boyfriend.

Lucas knew what was coming when he got a text from Kes and then a second and third. 

He’d told Liv she could post the picture online; all of them packed into a booth at an all-night spot Jens promised had the best fries in town. He hadn’t realized the photo was even being taken until the flash pulled his attention from Jens’ lips on his, his hand wrapped around the back of Lucas’ head pulling him closer. Beside them, Sander and Robbe were laughing while Noah and Liv smiled at each other. It was a great photo. It just wasn’t exactly how he’d planned to tell his friends about Jens. 

But the cat was out of the bag now, and Lucas knew he couldn’t avoid Kes for long. He considered waiting for the next morning when they got to school. Kes would only be able to berate him until the first bell rang, and Lucas had learned long ago how to avoid people in the halls when he needed to. 

He sighed, his phone ringing again. He looked at the screen, Kes’ picture flashing up at him. Hesitantly, he answered. 

“You got a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?”

“Hello to you too.”

“Lucas.”

“Kes.” 

There was nothing for a moment, and Lucas thought the call might have dropped. Then he heard Kes sigh and it broke his heart. 

“I’m on my way over.” Lucas said, changing direction, his tote bag shifting uncomfortably on his shoulder. 

The train station wasn’t far from Kes’ house and he decided he’d better just get this conversation over with, knowing it would be easier than fretting about it all night. He texted Jens.

_ Going to see Kes. Wish me luck. _

Jens’ response came almost immediately. They’d been talking most of the train ride home and Lucas and Jens had already come up with twenty possible ways to avoid this very conversation.

_ Good luck. If he’s mad, tell him it’s my fault. _

_ Oh I will absolutely blame you for all of it.  _

_ Don’t make your friends hate me already!  _

_ Too late. _

Lucas smiled, sliding the phone into the pocket of his jeans. He looked up and realized he was at Kes’ place.

* * *

Robbe eyed Sander as their parents walked through the gallery together. Sander’s mom Alice had her arm linked with Robbe’s mamma and they were commenting on a painting someone had done of a penguin wearing a tuxedo while Sander’s dad Adam walked beside, hands clasped behind his back and nodding at the women chatting. 

Sander sidled up next to Robbe, letting their hands brush against each other before he looped their pinkies together. 

“I told you there was nothing to be worried about.”

Robbe laughed a little.

“I wasn’t worried.” 

Sander squeezed his pinky and smirked at him, knowing very well that he was lying. Robbe resisted the urge to kiss him, the proximity of their parents the ultimate deterrent. Robbe had been fighting his typical koala nature all night, sneaking little kisses and hands held only when he was certain everyone’s attention was elsewhere. It wasn’t that they all hadn’t seen Robbe and Sander being affectionate. His mamma had stumbled in on Robbe and Sander making out on the couch more than once. He wanted tonight to be about the parents meeting and getting to know each other. He also just didn’t need two moms teasing them for their PDA at once. 

“Sounds like a loose value. I’ll swing by this week and take a look.” Adam said, responding to something Robbe’s mamma had said that he hadn’t heard. 

“Oh I wouldn’t want you to --”

“Nonsense, Marie. Please let him do it. It’ll make him so happy and keep him out of my hair for a few hours.” Alice said, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.

Adam gave his wife a teasing smile. Sander rolled his eyes.

“I can’t take you two anywhere.” 

Marie and Robbe were laughing now. 

“You’re one to talk, Mr. future IJzermans.” Alice quipped at her son, turning to eye him and Robbe now. 

“Now that’s not fair Alice,” Marie said, voice soft, “Robbe could become a Driesen.” 

The women laughed together now, watching their sons’ cheeks grow red as they rolled their eyes at their respective mothers. 

“I don’t care what name they take. I’m just glad Robbe will be my son-in-law. Finally someone to keep Sander out of trouble.”

Marie smiled at Robbe, proud.

“With Sander around, Robbe might eat more than instant noodles and speculoos.”

Alice smiled now too. Sander and Robbe dropped their linked hands, instead reaching for their mammas. Robbe pulled Marie in for a hug, her familiar perfume filling his nostrils. 

“I love you.” She whispered. 

“I love you too.” Robbe said softly. 

He pulled away and held her hand in his. 

“Sander, are those your drawings ahead?” Adam asked. Robbe’s eyes went wide.

“Are those Robbe?” Marie asked with a laugh. 

Robbe shot Sander a look over the heads of their mammas. Sander just gave him a wink.

* * *

Lucas sat on the edge of Kes’ bed, eyes on Kes, who’d been quiet since Lucas got there, pacing his bedroom. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were seeing somebody Luc.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought you knew I support you and I’m cool with whoever you’re into.”

“I know Kes. You’ve been great. It’s just….I was embarrassed okay?”

“Why? Jens is hot.”

Lucas snorted a little, giving Kes a look. 

“What?”

“Well I’d understand being embarrassed if your boyfriend was ugly, but Jens is hot.”

“Oh my god. That’s not what I meant.” Lucas said, rubbing his temples with a laugh.

“Then what did you mean?”

“It’s just...we weren’t official until this weekend. And I didn’t know how to tell you I was traveling to Antwerp just for a hookup or whatever.”

“I wouldn’t have judged you. I’ve done some crazy things for girls before.”

That made Lucas laugh. He nodded, remembering a few instances that Kes was referring to.

“Fair.”

Kes sat down on the bed, the mattress sinking beside Lucas. 

“I’m still mad Liv and Noah got to meet him first. I thought we were best friends.”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen, remember? What are the odds Jens’ best friend’s boyfriend goes to school with Noah?” 

Kes considered this and then nodded. 

“It’s pretty crazy.”

“Pretty crazy.”

Lucas pulls Kes into a hug and they’re quiet for a minute.

“We are best friends, Kes. I’m sorry for not telling you about Jens sooner.”

“It’s okay.”

* * *

A week later, and Robbe was still floating high on the success of his mamma and Sander’s parents’ first meeting. When he left the house, his mamma was heading out with Alice to see a movie. He liked seeing her so happy, and finally coming out of her shell after being alone for so long. 

“Hi angel.” Sander said, taking his hand as he locked up his bike. 

Robbe leaned in, kissing his boyfriend. They’d only been separated for a few hours, but somehow it always felt like an eternity. Sander pulled away, eyebrows raised. 

“Someone is needy today.” He said, smirking. Robbe rolled his eyes.

“Can’t a boy just miss his boyfriend.”

“Yes.” Sander said with a smile, sincere now, kissing Robbe again before pulling away, planting kisses on his cheeks before he finally detached himself from Robbe and headed towards the the bar, people and noises spilling out from the open doors and windows. 

They pushed their way inside, spotting Zoe’s platinum bob in the back corner. Zoe and Senne didn’t notice them coming, too lost in their conversation, Senne smiling adoringly at whatever point Zoe was making. He’d just leaned in for a kiss when Sander and Robbe arrived at the table.

“Get a room.” Sander scowlded, laughing as he slid into the seat next to Senne. 

Senne rolled his eyes, sneaking a quick kiss from Zoe before he sat back and gave Sander a friendly shove. That just got more laughter from Sander. Robbe took the seat by Zoe, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He settled into the side hug, always relaxed around Zoe. In their time living together, she’d become his surrogate family and that affection had never faded, even all this time later. They watched as their boyfriends horsed around across the table, lovingly shoving and smacking and poking each other, like two giant children. 

“These are the men we love.” Zoe sighed, getting a laugh from Robbe. 

The boys across from them settled down now, grinning like idiots.

“Who wants a drink?” Senne asked. 

“Will you get me cranberry juice?” Zoe asked. Senne nodded, standing. Sander followed suit. 

“Whiskey?” He asked Robbe. 

“Yes please.”

The boys headed to the bar, laughing loudly as they went. Robbe watched them go.

“Should I be worried your boyfriend is going to steal Senne from me?” Zoe asked with a smirk. 

“I mean, the platinum hair...he is Senne’s type.” Robbe offered, getting a laugh. Zoe turned from the bar to face Robbe.

“I assume things went well with the parents.” 

Robbe nodded. 

“And how are you?” He asked. Zoe smiled, considering her answer with care.

“I’m okay. Already stressed about how much work we have to do, but Senne’s had an easy week in class and has been a Godsend, making dinner and cleaning up the flat.”

“Is this the same Senne who wouldn’t clean up after my welcome party last year?” Robbe asked, laughing. Zoe shrugged.

“He’s changing. I didn’t know it was possible.” There was something in her voice that caught Robbe’s attention, something between hope and adoration. He wondered if he should ask about it, but thought better. Zoe would tell him about it, sometime when it was just the two of them. Not tonight. Instead, he shifted the conversation, giving her an out.

“I’m sure Milan is milking up all of the extra time with Senne.”

Zoe laughed. 

“He certainly likes having someone other than Lisa around during the day. He whined about croissants the other day when I told him Senne wasn’t staying the night.”

Robbe smiled, thinking back to so many mornings when he’d found Senne and Milan talking quietly in the kitchen. It was because of his three flatmates that he’d finally worked things out with Sander and for that, he’d always be thankful for his time with them.

They both turned when they heard Sander’s laugh approaching. Robbe was surprised to see they’d picked up a third person on their trip to the bar. 

“Zoe, this is my friend Noah.” Sander said, gesturing to Noah, the glass in his hand threatening to sloush all over the floor as he did. Zoe smiled and stood to hug Noah as the boys arrived. Senne handed her her glass, accepting the kiss she offered in exchange for the drink. 

“Nice to meet you Noah.” 

He sat down next to Robbe, in the seat at the end of the table. 

“He’s having girl problems.” Senne said. 

Noah’s cheeks got red as he buried his face behind a curtain of brown hair, gaze dropping to his lap. 

“It’s really nothing. I don’t want to bring down the mood--”

“You’re not, don’t worry.” Zoe said, so genuine in her interest.

“She’s not going to let it go until you tell us what’s going on.” Senne added, getting a look from Zoe. 

Noah raised his head looking at Sander. 

“I think my girlfriend wants to break up.” 

Robbe could see Senne tense across the table, just for a moment. He knew that he was still sensitive about his breakup with Zoe. Even though they were back together, Robbe suspected Senne hadn’t let him guard down yet, always waiting for Zoe to realize she’d made a mistake in getting back together. 

“Why do you think that?” Sander asked, voice laced with concern. 

“She’s just been weird all week. When she was visiting last weekend, everything was fine. Better than fine even, it was great...we’re from the Netherlands and she’s still there....” He added, for Zoe and Senne’s benefit, “but then she went home and I don’t know. I feel like she’s been distant all week.”

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Zoe asked. Noah shook his head.

“What are you waiting for?” 

“I’m scared, I guess.” Noah admitted. Robbe admired his bravery. Here he was at a table of nearly all strangers, admitting all this. 

“Don’t be scared. Just hear her out. Either you’ve done something, in which case you apologize and try to do your best to change, or she’s just got a lot going on and will be glad to have you to lean on.” Senne said, surprising Robbe with his insight. 

Robbe saw Zoe’s eyes softening as she watched her boyfriend across the table. She reached across the table and took his hand in hers, stroking his knuckles with her thumb. He smiled at her. 

Sander gave Noah a comforting pat on the shoulder and Noah fiddled with his phone in his lap, giving Sander a small smile. Noah shrugged.

“Okay. I’ll talk to her.”

Everyone cheered and raised their glasses. Sander and Robbe exchanged looks across the table. 

“A toast!” Sander hollered. 

They all looked at him, expectedly.

“To communication.”

They echoed the toast, clinking glasses and laughter as they did. They were being ridiculous, Robbe knew. But it was easy, fun, harmless ridiculousness that made his heart swell.

“Communication is sexy.” Zoe said, giggling. Senne gave her a look. 

“Oh, it is?” He asked, eyeing her suggestively as he stood up and moved around the table towards her. 

He leaned in and kissed her, hard, getting a little shriek from Zoe, who was not used to this level of PDA in front of their friends. Robbe groaned while Noah and Sander laughed. When Senne finally pulled back, Zoe looked a little dazed but smiled wide, wiping her red lipstick from Senne’s face. Hazards of her signature look. 

“Zoe and Senne are basically Robbe’s parents so this is weird for him.” Sander told Noah.

“It’s true.” Robbe said with a laugh, not even denying the dynamic they’d adopted. 

Hearing his complaints, Zoe and Senne tackled him into a hug and through the space between them, he saw Sander get up, unable to resist joining. Robbe was laughing now, squished between three people he loved most in this world, smelling Zoe’s perfume and Senne’s cologne and Sander’s leather jacket all mixing together as he tried to take deep breaths, lungs a little squished by elbows and ribs and love. 

* * *

Jens pulled Lucas to a stop, hands intertwined between them. They were outside of Kes’ place, the first stop of the night. Lucas hadn’t wanted to leave his room, not with Jens visiting, but he’d promised Kes and Jayden that they could meet Jens and he knew he’d never hear the end of it if he bailed on them. 

“What if they hate me?” Jens asked. 

He’d asked Lucas this about a hundred times on the trip over from Lucas’ house. Lucas wondered if he should be annoyed, but found Jens’ concern too endearing to be bothered.

“They won’t.” He assured him again, planting a kiss on his cheek and then his lips and feeling Jens’ shoulders drop under his touch. With that, he pulled him forward.

Kes and Jayden were waiting in the living room when Lucas and Jens walked in, each seated in chairs facing the door, trying to look serious and intimidating. Lucas rolled his eyes, but proud to see that Jens didn’t look nearly as nervous as he knew he was. 

“Hey guys.” Lucas said. Kes and Jayden didn’t move. Lucas sighed.

“This is my boyfriend Jens.” He said, gesturing to Jens, who stepped forward, hand out. Jayden jumped out of his chair and eagerly gripped Jens’ hand, shaking it.

“Jayden. Nice to meet you.” 

Kes was still watching Jens wearily, but stood up and shook his hand with a smile. 

“I’m Kes.”

“Jens.”

“Nice to meet you man.”

Lucas let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

They arrived at Isa’s and were immediately swept up by the welcoming committee. Everyone wanted to meet Lucas’ hot new boyfriend and Lucas momentarily lost sight of Jens as the girls all crowded around him, trying to find out everything they could about their friend’s mysterious new man. 

Kes took a spot next to Lucas, watching as Jens, Isa and Engel laughed at something Janna had said. 

“Jens seems cool.” 

Lucas tried not to smile too wide. 

“He is.” 

“Kes!” Isa called, waving him over. 

Kes gave Lucas a small nod and bounded over to her, quick to kiss her and then settled into the open spot next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. They’d gotten back together almost nine months ago, and Lucas had never seen Kes happier. 

“I’m happy for them.” Someone said. Lucas turned to find Liv standing next to him. 

“Me too.” He said, looking back at the happy couple.

“And I see Jens has made himself part of the group.” 

“Something like that.”

“I like him Luc. He seems good for you.” Liv said, smiling at Lucas now. Lucas looked away, hoping that it was dark enough that she couldn’t see his blushing cheeks. 

“How was the rest of your trip last weekend?” Lucas asked, finally looking at Liv. She squirmed a little at the question. 

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

Liv just shrugged. 

“I had a really good time. And I thought Noah did too…”

“What happened?”

“Nothing...I don’t know. He’s just been acting weird this week. I’ve been trying to give him some space...but I’m worried he wants to break up.” Liv admitted. Lucas frowned.

“Noah Boom? We’re talking about your Noah Boom? Breaking up? With you?”

Liv shrugged. 

“Maybe the distance is just too hard. Not seeing each other all the time. Wondering what the other person is doing, who they’re with. Not being around for the little things that make up the big picture. Feels like he’s living a whole life that I only get to see snapshots of.” Liv said. 

Lucas looked across the room, finding Jens again. He was checking his phone, texting someone, someone Lucas probably had never even met. Liv’s words echoed in his head. He shook them away and turned back to Liv.

“Liv, you and Noah fought really hard to be together. From what I remember, there was even a wedding dress involved. You can survive this. It’s only a semester. He’ll be back here before you know it, getting paint stains on your carpet again.”

“Don’t remind me. I’m still mad at him for that.”

But she was laughing now. She turned to Lucas.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Someone cleared their throat, and Lucas and Liv turned to see Jens smiling at them. 

“Hi Liv. Can I borrow him?” Jens asked. Liv smiled and nodded.

“All yours.”

Jens took Lucas’ hand and led him across the room, to where the rest of the party was now dancing to some indie pop that Isa must have picked out. When she saw Jens dragging Lucas over though, she quickly changed the song, and a slow ballad began to play as Jens pulled Lucas onto the makeshift dance floor. Lucas rolled his eyes, hesitating.

“What? You don’t want to dance with your boyfriend?” Jens asked. 

Lucas felt his knees weaken. Jens was his  _ boyfriend. _ He still wasn’t used to it. He swallowed hard and let Jens drag him onto the floor. Jens wrapped his arms around Lucas’ waist, letting Lucas wrap his arms around his shoulders. Lucas felt the small hairs at the nape of Jens’ neck, unable to resist playing with them as they swayed to the song. 

Lucas looked around, expecting to find his friends staring. Instead, he found most had drifted off of the floor or had paired off themselves. Isa and Kes were holding each other close while Engel and Janna twirled each other around. Liv had joined Jayden on the outskirts, laughing over something on Jayden’s phone. Lucas smiled at them all before looking back at Jens. His chocolate brown eyes sparkled in the low party lights Isa had set up and Lucas couldn’t resist kissing him. 

“Are you having fun?” He asked Jens.

“A great time.”

“You should know Kes will kill you if you hurt me.” Lucas said, chuckling. 

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” Jens said, leaning in for another kiss.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the love on the first few chapters of Some Nights! I'm so excited for you to read what's coming next!!


	4. carry on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sander goes missing, the boys are on high alert searching Antwerp to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for the angst.

“Winner gets to kiss Lucas?” Robbe suggested, laughing. 

He felt a pillow hit the back of his head from where Jens was sitting on the couch with Lucas, legs across Lucas’ lap. 

“I think that’s fair.” Lucas added with a laugh. Jens groaned.

“Stop encouraging him. You’re my boyfriend.”

“Jens doesn’t like to share.” Robbe offered, eyes moving from the tv screen to Lucas to give him a knowing smile. 

“Oh I know.” Lucas said, laughing. Robbe turned back, fingers moving on the controller in his hand to dodge an attack from another soldier in the game.

“Just because your boyfriend isn’t here doesn’t mean you get to take mine.” Jens whined. 

Moyo and Aaron came in front Jens’ kitchen, carrying the next round of beers, avoiding walking in front of Robbe or Jens for fear of distracting them from their intense game. 

“Where is Sander anyway?” Moyo asked, offering a beer to Robbe as he took his seat next to him on the floor. Robbe took the beer and took a small sip. 

“Dinner with his parents. He’ll probably stay there tonight.”

“But I wanted to see him.” Aaron whined. “I never get to see Sander anymore.”

“That’s because you’re always with your girlfriend.”

Robbe nodded without looking. And it was true - Aaron had missed quite a few hang outs to see Amber. Not that Robbe blamed him. 

“Hey, I just realized something!” Aaron said, ignoring Moyo entirely. Robbe didn’t look at him, focused on winning the game.

“Oh this will be good.” Jens said. 

Lucas choked back a laugh and Robbe heard the distinct sound of a hand hitting fabric. He could only guess Lucas had hit Jens for the comment. 

“What did you realize?” Robbe asked, knowing Aaron wouldn’t continue without prompting.

“We’re all in relationships now. I’m with Amber, you’re with Sander, Moyo’s with Noor and Jens and Lucas are together.”

“Lucas and I are just friends. Right, dude?” Jens joked.

“You had your tongue in my mouth five minutes ago, don’t call me dude.” Lucas dead panned. 

Next to him, Robbe saw Moyo double over with a laugh as Robbe cackled.

In his pocket, Robbe felt his phone ringing and took a beat to pull it from his pocket. His mom was in group therapy right now, and his dad hardly ever called without texting him beforehand. Robbe’s eyes darted to the time on the clock below the TV. Sander would still be eating dinner. He let himself look at the screen. It was Alice, Sander’s mom. 

He dropped his controller, lifting the phone to his ear and standing with such force he gave himself vertigo. 

“Everything okay?” Jens asked, all joking gone from his tone. 

Robbe lifted a finger in the air and moved out of the room. 

He knew Jens’ house as well as he knew his own, and quickly stumbled into Jens’ bedroom, the closest room to the living room where he wouldn’t be overheard. He nearly tripped over Lucas’ duffel bag, somehow a mess despite the fact he’d only arrived a few hours ago. 

“Hello?” Robbe asked, voice strained with concern. 

“Robbe? Hi it’s Alice.”

“Hi, yes, I know.” Robbe said, hoping he didn’t come off sharp. He tried to run through the plethora of reasons she could be calling him, but none of them were good.

“Honey, is Sander with you?”

“No.” Robbe hesitated, as if somehow he could have missed his boyfriend sitting on the couch just moments ago. 

“Have you heard from him?” She asked, voice even. She wasn’t panicked, or if she was, she was hiding it well. 

“Hold on.” Robbe said, dropping the phone away from his face.

He looked, just to be sure, but his last text from Sander was confirming he had dinner with his parents and wouldn’t see Robbe until tomorrow. Robbe brought the phone back to his ear. 

“About three hours ago. He was on his way to your place.” Robbe confirmed. He heard Alice take a deep breath on the other end of the phone.

“He never came home.” She said simply, “his father and I have texted and called him, but we haven’t gotten a reply.”

Robbe took a deep breath. 

“I’m going to look for him.” Robbe said.

“Thank you. We’re out too. I’ll call you if I hear from him.” Alice said. 

Robbe promised he’d do the same and hung up. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears, his mind moving too quickly as he brainstormed what could have happened. Did Sander get jumped? Did he have an accident? Was he lost? 

Robbe thought about his behavior this morning. He’d seemed to be in a good mood, so Robbe didn’t think this was a depressive episode. He called Noah, but his phone rang for a few beats and went to voicemail.

“Hi...uh. It’s Robbe. Listen, have you seen Sander? I’m looking for him but can’t get a hold of him. Thanks.” Robbe said, trying to keep his voice light, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to incite panic with Sander’s classmates if he didn’t need to.

* * *

Lucas ran his fingers along Jens’ calves, thrown over his lap while they’d been playing video games with Jens’ friends. But they’d paused the game when Robbe had walked out, worry etched on his face, all merriment sucked from the room. 

Now they sat very quietly, all pretending they weren’t trying to listen to Robbe in the other room. But after the click of the door closing, whatever was happening was impossible to decipher. 

Lucas watched Jens, the worry lines in his boyfriend’s face growing deeper as the minutes passed. He held out his hand, letting Jens wrap their fingers together before Lucas gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

Their faces all turned to the door at the same time when Robbe entered, eyes wild and hair a little messier than when he left. He looked panicked, eyes glued on Jens alone. 

“Sander’s mom called. He never made it home.”

“Where is he?” Jens asked.

“They don’t know.”

Before Jens had time to move his legs, Lucas was standing, grabbing Jens’ house keys from the side table and moving towards the front door. 

“Let’s go.” He said, voice firm. He turned back to see four pairs of eyes staring at him before they all simultaneously began moving, gathering discarded coats and hats and keys.

“Where are some places he might be?” Lucas asked Robbe, voice soft. He could feel Moyo and Aaron staring at them, but he wanted to keep Robbe focused on the task so that he didn’t work himself into a panic. 

“Last time, he was at his school. But he could be anywhere. There’s a bar he likes near his parents’ place.”

Lucas nodded, encouraging Robbe to continue.

“My old flat is between here and there. My old flatmmates still live there.”

“Try and call him again, okay?” Lucas asked, Robbe already unlocking the phone he’d had glued to his hand since Alice had called. He walked ahead a bit. Lucas eyed Moyo and Aaron.

“Head over towards the old flat. Check the area around there. Alleyways, anywhere dark too. Just in case.” Lucas said, hoping they understood without much more explanation what he was asking. It was a precaution, but if Sander had gotten jumped...well Lucas wanted everyone to make sure they looked everywhere. They nodded, heading towards Moyo’s car. Robbe was returning to the pack now, shaking his head. 

“Robbe, you check his school. Jens and I will try the bar.”

Robbe gave him the name of the bar and hopped onto his bike, speeding off. Lucas and Jens watched him go and Lucas could feel Jens’ grip on his hand tighten a little at his side. 

Lucas and Jens walked up to the bar, a grungy hole-in-the-wall kind of place. 

“Looks like a place Sander would hang out.” Jens offered, trying to lighten the mood. Lucas gave him a shove with his shoulder.

They split up, wandering through the dark bar, scanning corners and the bathroom. Lucas moved around more than one couple in the middle of intense make out sessions in order to check the whole place but no sign of Sander. He gave Jens a wave towards the outside, and slipped out the front door. Outside, he walked around the side of the building, but the alleyway was empty except for a few cardboard boxes and a big dumpster. Jens came out a few minutes later, shaking his head. 

Robbe had sent Lucas Sander’s parents address so they started walking in that direction, careful to scan the small spaces between buildings for Sander’s bleach blonde hair. 

“He has to show up somewhere.” Lucas said, more to the universe than to Jens. 

Jens had been quiet since the bar, eyes alert and phone in his hand, waiting to hear from Robbe. Lucas looked at him.

“Has this happened before?” He asked, sensing he knew the answer. Jens just nodded.

“Last fall. He disappeared and no one heard from him for days. Robbe was...Robbe wasn’t in a good place and was really starting to panic when Sander sent him this cryptic text and Robbe found him holed up at his school. He’d been sleeping on the floor in a flimsy sleeping bag and hadn’t eaten.” 

Lucas nodded. He didn’t ask Jens for any more details. He didn’t need to. He’d pieced together enough of the picture. They walked another block before Jens spoke up again. 

“Thank you.” Jens said. Lucas looked at him.

“For what?”

“You’ve been shockingly calm throughout this whole thing.”

He thought about all of the times it had been his own mom he was searching for. It had made Lucas good in a crisis. But Jens didn’t need to know about that right now. Instead, Lucas just shrugged. 

“I don’t know how else to be.”

Jens leaned over, kissing him softly. Lucas kissed him back, letting the kiss wash away thoughts of his mom and hospitals and medications. 

* * *

Robbe pulled up to the familiar bike racks, and nearly fell over when he saw Sander’s bike chained up among the few on the racks. Robbe locked up his own and ran towards the school, last fall flashing in his head. He felt his stomach lurch at the memories. Sander had looked so small and so broken when Robbe had found him in that studio. 

Robbe sprinted down the now familiar hallways, his footsteps heavy, echoing off the walls of the empty school. He took the stairs two at a time, and when he reached the top, his heavy panting forced him to slow down if only a tad. 

He stormed down the hall, past the studios towards the one he knew was Sander’s favorite. He almost keeled over when he heard music from inside, quiet laughter spilling into the quiet hallway. Sander’s laughter. 

Robbe stopped running now. In fact, he stopped moving at all. He stopped there, listening to David Bowie and Sander’s low laugh swirl down the hallway towards him. He heard a second voice, and was pulled from his spot, feet moving without his mind actively making the choice to go forward. The metal handle was cool to the touch as Robbe pushed the heavy studio door open. 

Sander looked up at him, Noah on the floor beside him. They had a canvas between them, working on something. When Sander met Robbe’s gaze, his face dropped. Robbe tried to smile at him, but he wasn’t convincing because Sander was quick to get to his feet and cross to where he stood in the doorway. Robbe looked away. He couldn’t look at Sander. Not yet. He was trying to let his mind work through the flood of conflicting emotions he was feeling and he knew that Sander would see every one of them dance across his face. He needed to decide which was the one he wanted to direct at his boyfriend first. 

For now, he focused on the phone in his hand, typing a short message to his friends and Sander’s parents, telling everyone to call off the search. He’d found their beloved boy. 

On the floor, Noah seemed oblivious to Robbe’s mental acrobatics, pulling himself up and gathering his coat.

“Perfect timing. We were just finishing up. See you tomorrow Sander.” 

Robbe didn’t acknowledge him as Noah slid past them and out the door. Only when Robbe heard the metal click into place did he look at Sander. 

“What are you doing here?” Sander asked, but Robbe didn’t have it in him yet to return the smirk Sander was giving him. 

“Your mom called me.” He said instead, letting the accusation hang in the air instead of directing it at Sander outright. 

Now it was Sander’s turn to look away.   
“I’m sorry.” 

It was quiet, and Robbe almost didn’t hear it over the chorus to Space Oddity playing from the speaker in the corner. Sander looked up to meet his gaze.

“I’m really sorry Robbe.” 

Robbe sighed. He didn’t like the way that anger bubbled up like bile in his throat. He didn’t want to be mad at Sander. He knew that Sander hadn’t meant to worry him. It’s just that after everything...he brushed away the thoughts, focusing on Sander instead. 

“My phone died and I ran into Noah and we had a great idea for class...I should have called her. That was stupid.”

“It was.” Robbe said, hearing his voice crack. 

Something inside of him cracked too, releasing all of his anger and replacing it with sadness. He continued, 

“I was so scared, Sander. I didn’t know what happened to you.”

All of that anxiety he’d been feeling released the flood of tears now dripping down Robbe’s face. 

“I thought maybe someone...those guys...you can’t do that to me Sander.” Robbe said, voice cracking so much he was surprised Sander seemed to understand him. He wanted to say more but he couldn’t. 

Instead, Sander pulled him in tight, arms wrapping around Robbe’s shoulders, pulling his face into Sander’s chest. Sander held him like that while Robbe shook, tears leaving a wet spot on his shirt.

* * *

“Thank god.” Jens said, staring at the phone in his hand. 

Lucas had his own phone out, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. They looked at each other, and Lucas gave Jens a relieved grin.

“Come on.” Jens said, pulling at Lucas’ hand.

“Where are we going?”

“We deserve a drink.”

And so Lucas let himself be pulled the few blocks back to the bar where they’d looked for Sander. They sat at the bar, knees pressed together between them and ordered beers. Lucas chugged his as soon as it arrived, finishing almost half. He hadn’t released how worried he’d been until now, his hands shaking so bad he had trouble picking up the glass when he went for a second, more moderate sip. 

Jens had gone quiet again, staring off at nothing. Lucas hadn’t known him long, but he knew him well and knew Jens was not someone who liked to be pushed into talking. So Lucas didn’t ask him anything. Instead,he talked. He told Jens about his train ride to Antwerp earlier that night, and his week at school and how Kes and Isa were already trying to get Lucas to agree to a double date the next time Jens came to Utrecht. 

All the while, he watched the frown lines on Jens’ face fade, until they were replaced by his easy smile as he laughed at Kes and Jayden’s latest antics. Lucas didn’t know everything about what had happened today, and maybe he never would, but he knew that sometimes it was better to forget about the hard stuff, if only for a little while. That could all be dealt with tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for all of the love for the series so far.


	5. it gets better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jens takes his role as protective BFF a bit too far in the aftermath of Sander's accidental disappearance the week before, causing drama for both couples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of angst this week, I'm so sorry.

“Mhmm I love you too.” Lucas said, eyes closed as he laid on Jens’ bed, phone to his ear. His mom was calling to check on him. Jens came in, two waters in his hands. 

“Okay, bye.” Lucas said again, hanging up.

Jens smiled down at him, handing over a glass. Lucas sat up, taking a long sip, the water refreshing on his dry throat. He and Jens had just gotten back from a concert and while the ringing had finally subsided in his ears, his throat still had a dull ache from all of the screaming they’d done. 

“How’s your mom?” Jens asked. 

“Fine.” Lucas said.

And that was true, at least now. Jens and Lucas both knew she’d had a pretty bad week. Lucas hadn’t even been sure that he would be able to make it to Antwerp but she’d insisted, inviting her sister for a girls’ weekend so that Lucas would relent and go. She hadn’t met Jens yet, but she’d made it clear she was happy for Lucas and ruining his weekend with his new boyfriend was not an option. 

Jens flopped onto the bed next to him, quick to put his head in Lucas’ lap. 

“You’re as bad as Robbe.” Lucas said. Jens twisted his head around so he was looking up at Lucas, his big brown eyes shining. 

“No I’m not.” 

But he didn’t help his case by burying his face into Lucas’ stomach, pulling himself closer.

“You’re like a koala, hanging on like that.” Lucas said with a laugh.

“You love it.”

Lucas laughed, switching his glass to the other hand to stroke Jens’ hair. 

“I do.” He said quietly. 

They sat like that for a while, Lucas carding his fingers through Jens’ hair while Jens’ breath tickled his shirt. It wasn’t until Jens’ phone buzzed too many times that he rolled over, keeping his head on Luc’ lap, fumbling in his pocket for his cellphone. When he pulled it out, he looked at the screen before letting out a huff and slipping it under the pillow near his side exasperated by whatever he’d seen. 

“What’s wrong?”

Jens just grumbled and Lucas lightly pulled on his hair, forcing Jens to look at him. He repeated the question. This time, Jens sighed.

“I’m just tired, that’s all. The guys are too talkative sometimes.” 

Lucas didn’t believe him for a second but he also wasn’t going to push. Jens would tell him when he was ready. He always did. That was the only way that they’d been able to make a relationship out of a chance meeting when they lived almost 140 kilometers apart. 

He leaned down, kissing Jens’ forehead. 

“Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

Robbe opened the door to his room to find a bouquet of flowers on his desk and a small drawing he recognized as Sander’s handiwork. He turned around to see his bleached blonde boyfriend in the doorway, black leather door left at the door, leaving him in just a simple white t-shirt. 

“Sander.” He said, smiling, moving to the desk to take a closer look at the flowers and the drawing. 

It was a simple sketch, nothing more than pencil on paper but still magnificent, of a compass with a heart where north should be. Robbe looked at Sander.

“A reminder that I’ll always find my way back to you.” He said, serious now. 

Robbe’s eyes fell back to the drawing, studying it for another moment to avoid what he could feel coming next. Sander finally took a step towards him and Robbe met his eyes. Sander watched him so earnestly. 

“Robbe--”

“Sander, we already talked about this.” Robbe insisted. He put the drawing down on the desk, turning to face his boyfriend. 

“I know, but let me apologize again.”  
Robbe shook his head, taking the remaining step to close the space between them. He wrapped his arms around Sander’s neck, playing with the scruff at the nape of his neck. 

“Not necessary.”

“But it is.”

Sander pulled away, taking Robbe’s hands in his own. Robbe sighed, gearing up to have this conversation for what felt like the hundredth time since Sander had disappeared the week before. 

“I promise it’s fine, Sander.”

He couldn’t understand why Sander wouldn’t just believe him and let it go.

“It was an accident. You already said you were sorry. You’re forgiven.”

Sander just huffed, looking down at their hands locked together. 

“You have to stop punishing yourself Sander.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Sander dropped his hands but kept looking at Robbe, studying him. 

“Because…”

Robbe waited, letting Sander find the words. He looked at the wall behind Robbe’s head. 

“Because whenever I look at you, I see your face when you walked into that studio. Looking for me for the second time, and expecting the worst. How could I do that to you?”

Robbe heard the strain as he tried not to let the words crack, Sander’s eyes glistening. And like that, Robbe finally understood the immense weight of the guilt Sander had been carrying around all week. Wrapping his hands around his neck again, Robbe pulled him in for a bone crushing hug, not caring that when Sander hugged him back, Robbe struggled to breathe. 

“I’m so sorry Robbe.” Sander whispered, voice heavy with tears. Robbe squeezed.

“I love you.”

He just repeated that over and over as Sander cried, Robbe holding him all the while. 

* * *

Lucas could feel Jens tense a little as Sander teased Robbe about something across the room. Jens had been like that all night, rolling his eyes or huffing under his breath every time Sander said something. Robbe had heard a few of Jens’ groans and Lucas had done his best to shoot him apologetic glances whenever he caught his eye. 

“I’ll grab more drinks. Come on Jens.” 

Lucas hopped off the couch where he and Jens had been sitting. Jens nearly fell over from the speed at which Lucas rose to his feet, but collected himself and stood too, following Luc to the kitchen. 

When they got to the fridge, Lucas felt Jens wrap his arms around his waist from behind, moving so his chest was flush with Lucas’ back. Jens’ lips trailed up his neck, until he was close enough to whisper into Lucas’ ear.

“We could just send everybody home. We don’t have to secretly make out in the kitchen.”

Lucas laughed a little, aware he was letting himself be very distracted by Jens’ kisses and his hands working their way under Lucas’ shirt, his cold fingers brushing Lucas’ abs. He turned around so he could kiss Jens properly, knocking a few photos from the fridge as he pulled Jens against him. Their makeout session carried on for a few minutes before he finally pushed Jens back, noting his blown out pupils and swollen lips. 

“Baby…” Jens pleaded, moving back towards him. Lucas let himself be kissed before pushing Jens away again. 

He smiled at Jens, who pouted, trying his best to bat his long eyelashes at Lucas, begging for more. Lucas shook his head. He had a mission and he needed to stick to it. He brought a hand to Jens’ face, stroking away a few stray hairs. 

“Jens, what’s going on?”

Jens looked away from Luc now, focusing on the magnets next to his head.

“Nothing.”

“Then why aren’t you looking at me?”

“Because you’re too pretty.”

Lucas felt his cheeks flush, despite the fact that Jens was just flattering him to avoid the subject. 

“Jens.”

“Lucas.”

“You can talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Then why do you keep getting all weird every time Sander talks.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. You’ve been doing it all night.”

Jens finally met Lucas’ gaze. 

“It’s nothing.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

Lucas stroked his thumb across Jens’ cheeks, his striking cheekbones catching the low light of the kitchen and more prominent than ever. 

“Just play nice. For Robbe.”

Jens just nodded. 

* * *

Robbe noticed how disheveled Jens and Lucas looked when they came back, carefully handing out the beers they’d left for ages ago. If the other guys noticed though, they didn’t say anything, focused on their brainstorming session. It’d been a while since their last Broerrrs video and Moyo was enthusiastic about getting some footage this weekend while Lucas was in town.

“I’m just saying something at the skate park could be cool.” Moyo said again, arguing with Aaron about what exactly they wanted the video to be.

Robbe sunk back into the couch, seated between Sander’s legs. Sander shifted, moving his arms from on top of Robbe’s shoulders to around them, his face burrowing into Robbe’s hair. Robbe didn’t really care what the video was about, instead focused on Sander’s arms wrapped around him. 

When he opened his eyes, he caught Jens watching him from across the room, taking a long swig from his beer. Robbe gave him a look, trying to read his best friend’s mind. He seemed annoyed, but at what Robbe wasn’t sure. Things clearly seem to be fine with Lucas, that much was obvious. He let his eyes drift to the other curly haired boy, long and lanky beside Jens. Luc was watching Jens too, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He caught Rob’s gaze and gave him the same sympathetic smile he’d given him all night. 

“We could do a prank?” Moyo offered to the room.

“But who are we pranking?” Aaron asked.

“Could be the girls.” Sander said, having sat back on the couch now, hands absentmindedly playing with Robbe’s hair. 

“Amber will absolutely break up with me if we prank her!”

“We could prank Noor.” Moyo said. 

“She’d smell us coming a mile away.” Sander said.

“You know her better than her boyfriend?” Jens asked, an edge to his voice. 

Robbe felt Sander tense behind him, his fingers frozen in Robbe’s curls. Everyone looked at each other, Lucas shifting his gaze from Jens to Robbe, again wearing that sympathetic look. Robbe barely noticed, glaring at Jens now.

“He’s probably right. Remember my attempts at surprising her for our anniversary?” Moyo said, in an effort to diffuse the tension.

“How about Zoe and Yasmina? Luca would be great.” Aaron suggested, oblivious. 

Robbe stood, eyes still on Jens. 

“Jens, kitchen. Now.” 

Robbe didn’t even bother to see if he was following. He knew he would.

* * *

Lucas watched Jens walk out and then finally made eye contact with Sander, who had shrunk into himself on the couch. Aaron and Moyo bantered on the floor, and Lucas couldn’t tell if this was just normal behavior they were used to or if they’d actually missed the whole thing. He knew that they could be dense but he seriously doubted that they weren’t able to sense the shift in the room. While they prattled, Lucas moved from his couch to the spot next to Sander. 

“Sorry about him…” Lucas started, not really sure what else to say.

Sander shrugged.   
“Not your fault.”

“I know but--”

“It’s really fine Luc. Thank you.” 

Lucas just gave him a nod, moving his eyes to the door Jens and Robbe had disappeared through.

* * *

Robbe just stared at Jens, not even sure where to begin. He felt the anger in his chest bubbling. He’d been trying to ignore Jens’ digs all night, all the sighs and groans he pretended he couldn’t hear. But saying something snide, in front of everyone? That wasn’t okay. 

Jens, for his part, looked bored as he waited for Robbe to say something, as if he had no idea why Robbe had forced him into the seclusion of the kitchen to talk. 

“What’s with you tonight?” Robbe finally asked, trying to keep the edge from his voice. Jens just shrugged.

“Nothing.”

“Jens.”

“What?” 

Robbe bit his lip, feeling the sting of Jens’ irritation in his tone. 

“You’ve been an asshole to Sander all day.”

Jens met his gaze.

“Someone has to be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, that after what he pulled last weekend, you should be mad at him Robbe. He can’t get away with that.”

Robbe shook his head, letting out a curt laugh. Jens continued, 

“So we all have to just forgive him because you said so?”

“We should forgive him because he apologized.”

Jens shook his head viciously, as if the thought disgusted him. 

“Not enough.”

Robbe threw up his hands, exasperated. 

“You have no idea what he’s done to make up for it Jens.”

“He can’t just paint your face on a building every time he does something wrong.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re so obsessed with him you can’t even see how pathetic he’s making you look.” 

Robbe recoiled from the jab and Jens moved towards him, but before Robbe knew what was happening, a figure was stepping between them, platinum blonde hair nearly blocking Jens from his view. 

“If you have a problem with me, fine. But leave Robbe out of it.”

Robbe didn’t need to see Sander to the look he was giving Jens. He’d seen it the day Britt slapped him outside of the school. 

“Let it go Jens.” 

Robbe hadn’t noticed Lucas until now, watching from the doorway. He was glaring at Jens, tone icy. Sander had shifted, and Robbe could see Jens now, looking back at Lucas with a mix of shock and betrayal on his face. 

“Are you kidding me Lucas? You’re taking his side.”

“Well I’m not taking yours, that’s for sure.”

With that, Jens stormed out of the kitchen, pushing past Lucas and slamming the front door as he went. Aaron popped his head in, and Robbe realized he and Moyo had been listening from the hallway.

“This is his house. Where’s he gonna go?”

Robbe looked at Lucas, who shrugged as Moyo smacked the side of Aaron’s head. 

“I don’t know, but I have a train to catch.”

With that, Lucas disappeared down the hallway and Aaron and Moyo followed. Robbe finally looked at Sander, who was staring at the floor. He reached out, but Sander backed away, just out of reach.

“I should go.”

Sander stumbled towards the door and for once, Robbe didn’t move to follow him. Instead he sank to the floor of the kitchen, trying to catch his breath and to piece together had exactly had just happened. 

* * *

Lucas stared out into the darkness, the train rattling beneath his seat. He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out to check it, knowing exactly who it would be. Sure enough, Jens’ name peered back at him from the screen, a slew of unread messages staring back at him.

_Where are you?_

_Hello?? Where did you go?_

_Did you seriously leave? Are you kidding me Luc?_

_Just let me know when you’re home safe. I’m sorry._

The most recent had been sent thirty minutes after the first mad dash of messages had come through. He knew Jens had probably calmed down and was feeling pretty stupid, but Lucas wasn’t ready to forgive and forget. 

He was mad for Sander and for Robbe, and a little bit for himself. He felt like he and Jens were on the same page with their relationship. They couldn’t be together all the time, but at least they knew they could talk about stuff. Or at least he thought they could. Now he wasn’t so sure.

He sighed, pocketing the phone again, eyes back on the window. It was so dark outside that the window had become more of a mirror, reflecting Lucas’ heartbreak right back at him. 

* * *

Robbe stared up at the ceiling, the familiar feeling of insomnia setting in as his brain went into overdrive. He turned over, looking at his phone, the screen coming to life with a new message. It was from Sander and Robbe was quick to open it.

_I’m home._

Robbe replied instantly.

_I love you._

But even after waiting for half an hour, there had been no reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, a lot of angst. Just know I've got the rest of the chapters mapped out and there are only a couple more weeks of suffering before everything is alright again. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking it out, and for all the love.


	6. why am I the one?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always, Senne is there to give Robbe advice when it comes to Sander, and surprisingly Noah has some insight for Lucas about Jens as well.

Robbe stared at his phone, his unanswered  _ I love you _ to Sander mocking him. That had been a week ago, and Robbe hadn’t heard from him since. To be fair, he hadn't tried to reach out again. Usually when Sander went off the radar, Robbe would send him messages anyway, a timeline of events to make it easier for Sander to catch up and jump back in. 

For whatever reason though, this week, Robbe hadn’t felt like keeping Sander in the loop. Not that there was much to keep him informed of. Robbe had all but ignored Jens, dodging him and by extent the Broerrrs, and focusing all of his attention on school work. He’d gotten used to spending his lunches with the girls, disguising his trips to their table as chances to spend time with Zoe or to ask Yasmina about their shared class work. But he could tell Zoe was getting suspicious, asking leading questions about Sander or Jens that Robbe tried to carefully skirt around. 

That’s why he wasn’t surprised when she showed up at his door on Saturday morning, Senne in tow. Senne, to his credit, looked almost as confused as Robbe as Zoe dragged him inside, hanging her coat and scarf on the hooks near the door and then plopping down on Robbe’s couch. Robbe’s mama popped her head in. 

“Oh, good morning!” She said, seeing Zoe and Senne.

She came into the living room, planting kisses on their cheeks. 

“Morning Marie.” Zoe cooed, giving her a squeeze.

“Robbe didn’t tell me you were coming over. I would have made blueberry muffins.”

Senne smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze.

Of all Robbe’s friends, he knew his mom had a special affinity for the three people who’d taken care of him while she was in treatment and never failed to shower them with their favorite treats whenever they came over to visit. For Senne, it was the blueberry muffins. 

“I didn’t know they were coming.” Robbe said, sneaking a look at Zoe, who sat looking innocently at Marie. 

“Well I’ll make some tea at least.” She said, smiling again as she went to heat the water. The three called out thank yous from the couch, and as Marie’s footsteps retreated, Zoe turned to Robbe.

“What’s wrong?” Zoe asked, all the sweetness she’d shown Robbe’s mama replaced with concern, her eyes fixed on Robbe. Robbe shrugged.

“Nothing.”

Zoe hummed, unsatisfied, while Senne sat beside her, as always, playing catch up. Zoe turned to him now, offering an explanation.

“Robbe’s been avoiding Jens all week and I’d bet he’s been avoiding Sander too.”

Now it was Senne watching Robbe, eyes soft. Robbe looked at him before looking away, eyes downcast on the floor, noticing a small stain in the carpet by his feet. He ran his foot along it, his sock dragging on the carpet along the pink-hued spot. 

“I’m not avoiding Sander.” He said, voice soft.

“When was the last time you talked to him?”

Robbe took a deep breath. 

“Last weekend.”

He heard Senne take a deep breath as Zoe shook her head in his peripheral vision. 

“Robbe.” 

Robbe was surprised to hear Senne’s voice and not Zoe’s, his voice laced with concern and a little disappointment. He flashed back to the last time he’d heard that tone, when Senne was helping him through the fallout of Britt’s accusations and Robbe and Sander’s own fears getting in the way, after the night at the hotel. Robbe considered that now, how so much had changed and yet here they were, caught in the same scenario. Robbe and Sander not talking and Senne giving him that tone. 

He looked at the older boy now, who’d moved from a relaxed position to one that called to mind a concerned dad. Hunched forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped, he was watching Robbe. Zoe sat beside him, mirroring the pose in her own Zoe way. Robbe couldn’t help but feel like he was looking at his parents, the faint whistle of the kettle in the kitchen the only reminder that his real mom was just a few rooms away. 

“Robbe.” Senne said again.

“What?” Robbe said, his own voice dragging with a whine. 

“What happened?”

Robbe hesitated, hearing his mama’s approaching footsteps, soft in her slippered feet. She set the kettle and some mugs on the table in front of them, and with a kiss on everyone’s foreheads, disappeared again. She told Robbe that she was going out for coffee with Sander’s mom, and Robbe tried not to flinch. What would Anna know about their quarrel? Had Sander told her anything that Robbe would have to explain to his mama later? He couldn’t think about it too long though, the door shutting as she disappeared into the October morning. 

He turned to Zoe and Senne, still waiting expectedly. If he might have to tell his mom about his fight with Sander, he reasoned that telling Senne and Zoe might soften the blow for him later. So he began,

“You remember everyone panicking over Sander going missing and it being a false alarm?”

They nodded. 

“I thought you said that he apologized and you’d forgiven him?” Zoe asked.

“I had!” Robbe said, adding, “but apparently Jens didn’t.”

He picked up his mug, warm from the fresh hot water and stared at the steam as he continued…

* * *

Lucas watched a couple sail by on their bikes, the woman’s scarf blowing behind her. It was getting colder every day, the end of October rapidly approaching. He looked up as the waiter set down the mug of tea he’d ordered, alongside another pastry. Lucas knew he was stress eating, but took a bite of the buttery, sugary confection anyway. Sugar calmed him in times like these. He felt the weight of his phone in his pocket. It had been silent all morning. After nearly a week of unanswered text messages, maybe Jens had finally given up on texting him. That or he was still asleep. Lucas looked up at the clock on the wall. At 9:30, he guessed either was a possibility. 

“Lucas!” He heard a familiar voice call from the doorway.

He turned to see Noah and Liv walking inside, waving to him. Liv was dressed more casually than Lucas was used to seeing her, her hair pulled into a low bun wearing a grey sweatshirt that was a little too big for her. As they approached, Lucas noticed small paint splatters along the sleeves of the sweatshirt that suggested it wasn’t Liv’s at all. He stood, giving them both hugs and inviting them to join him. 

“Is Jens here?” Liv asked, looking around the cafe. 

Lucas swallowed and tried for an easy smile.

“Not this weekend.” 

But clearly his efforts had been futile, judging by the look that Liv and Noah exchanged, seated across from him now. 

“Did something happen?” Liv asked, her voice softer now. Noah gave him a concerned look. 

Lucas sighed. He really didn’t want to get into it. He’d avoided even Kes’ questions about the unfortunate turn of events that had sent him home early from his weekend with Jens, surprising Kes and Jayden when he’d shown up at the skatepark, ready to go on Sunday morning when they weren’t expecting to see him until Monday at school. He’d claimed his mom wasn’t feeling well, and that had been enough to get them to drop the subject for the moment, and to all but forget about it by Tuesday. 

But, Lucas knew that Noah was friends with Sander, so he assumed that part, if not all, of this story might come up, if it hadn’t already. He also didn’t want to tell Sander’s part in it if Sander didn’t want Noah to know. So Lucas told only the parts that were relevant to himself and the reason for the heavy weight of the unanswered messages in his pocket. 

“I’m not sure about Jens and I.”

That seemed to surprise both Noah and Liv, although neither of them knew Jens very well. Lucas continued,

“I just feel like he’s not telling me anything important and then things boil over that I didn’t know where a problem.”

“So he’s mad at you?” Noah asked, looking for clarity in the vague explanation Lucas was offering. 

“Not at me.” Lucas said, sighing. Telling this story proved difficult as he tried to leave out the parts that were not his to share. 

“He got upset about something a friend did over the weekend. And I asked him about it a couple times, both when we were alone and when I pulled him away from the group. It was so obvious to everyone that he was upset. He kept groaning and muttering under his breath. But then I asked him about it and he said it was nothing. That he’d behave. The next thing I know, he’s snapping at the guy in front of everyone. When I wouldn’t defend his behavior, he stormed out of his own house and left the other guy feeling awful about something he’d done a couple weeks ago. Something that we all had forgiven him for. Everyone except Jens.”

Noah and Liv nodded, understanding and Lucas suspected at least parts of this story were starting to fall into place for Noah, who nodded with more gusto. 

“And now you don’t know what to do, because you feel like you can’t build a relationship with someone if they won’t talk to you.” Liv offered, always better with words than he was. Luc nodded.

“Sounds like you have to make a choice.” She added.

“Which is…”

“Either give Jens a chance to change or tell him that it’s not going to work.” Liv said, a little sadness in her voice. She took Noah’s hand in hers now, lacing their fingers together. 

Lucas thought back to a few weeks before, when he’d been the one giving her relationship advice about dating long distance. He was happy to see that, clearly, it had worked for her. 

“But don’t let your ego get in the way Luc.” Noah said. Lucas gave him a look, encouraging him to continue. 

“I mean, when Liv and I…” He looked at her now, only for a moment, before turning his gaze back on Lucas.

“There are a lot of things I wish I could do differently in my life.” He said, “and one of the biggest is not listening to Liv when everything happened. I let my anger and my ego get in the way. Nobody is perfect, and I was holding her to such a high standard. It wasn’t fair. If I could have gotten past my ego, and could have just taken the time to hear her side of things, I could have saved both of us a lot of heartbreak at the beginning.”

Liv nodded, adding, 

“It’s not always black and white. People are capable of change, it’s just that we assume they won’t and we don’t bother asking them to.”

Lucas considered that, really seeing the couple across from him for the first time. They were looking at each other now, having an entire conversation with just looks. Lucas knew things had been rocky for them at the start. He’d heard enough from Isa to understand that they were speaking from experience. And it gave him a little bit of hope. 

* * *

Robbe knocked on the familiar door, waiting. He took in a breath, thinking of Senne’s parting wisdom, the same he’d given him last year.  _ Face to face. _ Robbe took another breath. Zoe and Senne had stayed for most of the morning, talking to him about everything that had happened and in the end, after much convincing, Robbe had promised to go see Sander. 

“If he doesn’t want to talk, don’t make him, but at least let him know you’re there.” Senne had encouraged, looking from Robbe to Zoe when he’d said this. 

Robbe knew that they’d been through the ringer when it came to their relationship. He’d literally watched their relationship disintegrate the first time and had been there when Zoe asked Senne to give it another try. They didn’t talk about it a lot, and more often than not Robbe could feel a shift in the room whenever anyone came close to broaching the subject. But today had been different. Instead of avoiding it, Senne had used his own mistakes with Zoe to bolster his argument. 

“I didn’t listen to her. Not really. I was there in the way I thought I should be, instead of in the way she needed.”

Robbe remembered now the softness in his voice as Senne had said this, eyes flitting from Robbe to Zoe as he spoke. She’d take his hand in hers, holding it firmly in her lap, eyes never leaving him as he continued.

“And if it should all end today, at least let it end knowing you did everything you could for Sander. And if it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other.”

Senne was looking at Zoe now, who leaned in to kiss him making Robbe blush and looked away. He usually wasn’t fazed by their PDA anymore, but this was different. There was an intimacy between them that Robbe felt like he was invading. His mind flashed to Sander, wanting nothing more than to be kissing him right now.

So, Robbe was standing in front of Sander’s door, waiting. He knocked again, with a little more force. When Sander was in the back of the flat, where his art studio was, he could barely hear the door, and that was without the music he was usually blasting. Robbe held his breath as he saw a shadow beneath the doorframe and instinctively, he took a step back as the door opened. There was Sander, hair a mess, with his roots beginning to show. He looked at Robbe for a minute, blinking at the smaller boy before he finally stepped into the hallway and wrapped his arms around Robbe’s neck, resting his forehead on Robbe’s, eyes closed. This close, Robbe noticed the dark circles under his eyes and reached up his hands to rest on Sander’s face, following the sharp edge of his cheek bones with his thumbs. 

“I thought you were going to break up with me.” Robbe said, so quiet he almost wasn’t sure he’d say the thought aloud. 

But then Sander’s eyes were open, the pop of green so vivid against his pale skin. Robbe sucked in a breath. And then Sander let out a small laugh, the smile cutting across his face, making his eyes narrow. 

“Not in this universe.”

With that, Robbe titled his head, kissing Sander. When he did, he felt all of the stress of the week tumble from his shoulders. With that kiss, Robbe knew they would be okay. 

* * *

Lucas laid back on his bed, holding his phone over his face, thumbing through it. He was debating what he wanted to do - or more accurately, stalling. He knew what he wanted to do. He just didn’t know how. His finger hovered over Jens’ contact and still he hesitated. But then the muscle in his arm spasmed, probably from the weird position he’d kept it in for so long and he dropped the phone, which came down and smacked him in the face, the corner of it digging into the soft space just under his eye. He let out a groan and picked up the phone, realizing in horror that it was dialing Jens. He considered hanging up, but knew that Jens would see he’d called and would call him back...or he wouldn’t and Lucas would the one stuck waiting for a reply. Finally, he heard Jens’ voice, quiet, as he answered.

“Luc?”

Lucas brought the phone to his ear, able to hear Jens take a deep breath on the other end of the line. 

“Hey.” He finally said, feeling the initial fear melting as he settled against his pillow. It was easy with Jens. It always was. Even now. 

“You asshole.” He heard Jens say now, without malice or anger. Lucas laughed and they were quiet for a moment.   
“I missed your laugh.” Jens said, the joking tone replaced with quiet sincerity. Lucas sank a little into his pillow.

“I missed you.” Lucas said back, hearing the true extent of his own feelings seeping into his voice. 

“I’m sorry.” Jens blurted into the phone, his voice high as the words seemed to rush out. “I was an idiot and should never have blown up at Sander and then asking you to take sides? Who does that? I was just being a massive --”

“It’s okay.” Luc said, needing Jens to hear him over his own guilt and self-doubt. “It’s okay. I forgive you. I’m sorry for avoiding you all week. I just--”

Lucas hesitated. This would be easier if they were face to face, but like with so much else of their relationship, they had to work with what they were given. 

“Hold on.” He said, pulling the phone from his face and hitting a button. Suddenly, Jens’ face filled his screen, smiling at him. His hair was a mess and he was wearing his standard maroon hoodie, head against the headboard in his bedroom. 

“That’s better.” Lucas said, smiling back at him. 

“You were saying…” Jens offered. Luc rolled his eyes. 

“I was saying that I’m sorry I ghosted you this week. I just -- I felt like you didn’t trust me Jens. And that sucked.”

Jens scowled, eyebrows knit together.

“Luc, of course I trust you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were mad at Sander.”

Jens hesitated, taking a breath. He looked away from the camera now, out towards what Luc knew to be his bedroom wall. 

“I felt stupid.” 

Now it was Lucas’ turn to look confused, and Jens continued.

“I didn’t want to be mad at Sander, because everyone else had forgiven him, but I couldn’t look at him without seeing how scared Robbe was when he went missing...I was a bad friend to Robbe last year. And I didn’t fully understand what was happening with him the first time Sander vanished. But this time...I don’t know. It just got to me. I hated seeing him like that.”

“That’s okay Jens.” Lucas said, getting Jens to look back at the camera, eyes glistening a little. “It makes sense. Robbe’s your best friend. Of course you want to protect him. But you don’t need to fight his battles for him. It’s enough to just be there as backup when he needs you.”

Jens was smiling now.

“I wish I could kiss you right now.”

That got a laugh from Lucas, who blew kisses to the camera. 

“Soon.” Lucas promised.

“Soon.” Jens agreed.

They smiled at each other, enjoying the moment of togetherness, even with hundreds of kilometers between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to drag out the angst for another week but I just wanted my boys to be happy, so hope you all enjoyed the fluffy endings for our favorite couples.


	7. all alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween in Antwerp, and after making up with Robbe and Sander, Jens wishes he could be with Lucas. Sander thinks he can make that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be typos. Sorry in advance. I didn't proofread.

Lucas watched through his phone screen as Jens added more blood to his fake arm wound.

“Don’t you think that’s enough?” Lucas asked for the third time, the fake red gash looking more and more cartoonish as Jens added to its size.

Jens looked up at the camera and then back at the injury and put down his red marker, reaching instead for his phone and getting bigger as he brought it to his face. Lucas smiled as Jens filled his phone screen, hair billowing out from under the gauze Jens had wrapped around his head. 

“You’re going to be a very cute patient.” Lucas said.

“If only there was a doctor here to save me.” Jens said, tone light. Lucas couldn’t help but look across his own bedroom at the doctors’ costume he’d bought last weekend, waiting for him. He sighed. 

“Hey, don’t be sad.” Jens said. 

“I wish I was there with you guys.” 

“Me too. But your mom needs you this weekend, and I’ll come visit next weekend and we can do whatever you want.”

“Eat candy in my bed and makeout.” 

“Sounds like a perfect weekend.”

“Any weekend is perfect if I’m with you Jens.” Lucas said, too quickly to realize what he was saying or to stop himself from blurting it out. 

He froze, watching Jens.

“Look at you, being all cute.” He finally said, easing Lucas’ worries with a genuine smile.

“Shut up.” Lucas said, but couldn’t help but smile back. 

“It’s almost like you like me.” Jens said, still teasing. 

“Nope. Actually, I think we should break up.”

Jens pouted, giving Lucas his best puppy dog eyes. Lucas relented.

“Fine, I guess I kinda like you.”

Jens smiled at him again, all soft now. Lucas saw his eyes drift from the camera to the top of his screen, clearly reading an incoming text. Jens’ smile fell a little.

“Who was it?”

Jens looked back at Lucas now, and Lucas could see him debating his answer. 

“Robbe. Group chat.”

Lucas sighed.

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“No.”

“Jens, it’s been two weeks.”

“I know, I just…”

“You have to talk to him tonight.”

Jens frowned outright now, but finally said,

“I know.”

Lucas gave him a reassuring smile and Jens gave him a grateful one back.

“I wish you were here.”

“Me too.”

Jens looked up from the phone, towards the direction of his door. Lucas could almost make out another voice. Jens looked back at him, as Moyo popped into the shot. Lucas smiled at him.

“Hi, I’m sorry but I have to take your boyfriend now.” He said. 

Lucas pouted but nodded. 

“Have fun tonight.”

“You too.” Moyo said, then let out a yelp as Jens pushed him away.

“I’ll be right out.” Jens said to him.

“You two have to kiss goodbye or something?” Lucas could hear Moyo asking, watching as Jens shot Moyo a look. He heard Jens’ door shutting as Jens finally looked back at the camera. 

“I’ll call you later?” Jens asked. Lucas nodded.

“Have a good time. And talk to Robbe. You’ll feel better.” 

Jens nodded, giving him a small smile and nod.

“I will. Promise.”

They watched each other for another moment before Lucas could hear Moyo’s muffled voice and Jens looked at the screen again. 

“Bye babe.”

Lucas blew him a kiss and hung up the call. He laid back on his bed, rubbing a hand through his hair, letting the familiar sadness wash over him that he always felt when he and Jens had to say goodbye to each other. He sighed as his phone buzzed. It was Jayden, probably on his way to pick up Lucas on the way to their party for the night. 

* * *

Robbe sat very still, letting Sander draw along his cheeks, the eyeliner pen tickling Robbe’s nose as he went. Sander and Milan had decided they’d be the cast of the Wizard of Oz this year, and now Sander was transforming Robbe into the Cowardly Lion, his curly hair alway teased out and as fluffy as he could muster. He looked up at Sander, who had covered his own face in a thin coating of silver makeup, somehow still so handsome. Sander smiled at him as he worked, drawing a dark circle on the tip of Robbe’s nose now. He stepped back to examine his work. 

Just then, there was a flurry of activity as the front door creaked open. 

“There’s no place like home!” Milan called out, his sing-song voice floating through Sander’s apartment. Robbe could hear Zoe and Senne behind him, mid-banter. 

They all appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go. Zoe was the perfect Dorothy, if Dorothy has a platinum blonde. Even so, her hair hung in neat pigtail braids and she’s spray painted an old pair of ballet flats a sparkling ruby red. Beside her, Senne had gotten off easy, his nose painted a dark brown but everything else fairly typical Senne-style, his usual black t-shirt replaced with dark green with dark brown pants. But it was Milan, clad in a full blonde wig, tiara and pink dress that really stole the show. Sander smiled ear to ear, applauding at the transformation. Milan gave a little curtsy, holding his tiara in place. 

“Milan, you look amazing.”

“Thank you. I know.” Milan said with a chuckle. Senne rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend, then put his eyes back on Sander and Robbe.

“The makeup looks great Sander.” He added.

“Thanks. Now if only I could get Robbe’s hair a little bigger.”

“Leave that to me.”

Zoe stepped into the small bathroom, and Sander stepped out, letting her pass. Robbe looked at him helplessly.

“Wait!” Robbe said, but Zoe just smiled at him, grabbing for a comb and hairspray on the counter. She got to work teasing his hair while the boys moved into the kitchen for a beer.

“You look really pretty.” Robbe said, watching Zoe work. She paused long enough to look at him, giving him a smile.

“Thank you. You do too.”

Robbe smiled back and then grew quiet, letting her finish.

* * *

Lucas and Kes sat on the couch, observing the party as they passed a joint between them. Engel and Isa were laughing in the corner, while Noah, home for the weekend, was with Jayden and Liv by the bar. Other than his friends, there weren’t many people Lucas knew at this party. He wondered if he’d spent so much time in Antwerp, he’d missed an entire new group of people his friends were now acquainted with. 

“Who are all these people?” Kes asked, voice so low it was almost hard to make out over the music. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“No idea. I think Engel might have class with the girl hosting, but I’m not really sure.”

“I haven’t seen a single person I recognize. Are you sure they go to our school?”

Kes thought about that, and then his eyes went wide.

“Engel works with the girl! They go to a different school!”

They nodded, suddenly understanding. The feeling made Lucas oddly more comfortable. He sank into the couch a little more.

“Here’s to Engel’s new friends!”

Engel and Isa were crossing to the couch then.

“I don’t have new friends.” Engel said, laughing. 

“Then whose house are we at?” Lucas asked. 

“Some girl Janna met at a bookstore or something.”

Lucas looked at Kes and laughed. 

“You’re an idiot.” Lucas added.

Kes just shrugged. 

“Where’s Jens tonight?” Engel asked Lucas, looking around for his Belgian boyfriend.

“At a Halloween party with his friends.”

Engel nodded but didn’t ask for more information, instead turning her attention to Isa and Kes, who had somehow managed to make their way to the other end of the couch, where they were now making out. Engel rolled her eyes, and then gave Lucas a nod as she walked toward Janna, who he know saw in the corner of the kitchen with a small group of strangers. Lucas’ attention was pulled from people watching by the small buzz of his phone in his pocket. He saw Jens’ name and a message beneath.  _ Just got to the party. Wish me luck.  _ Lucas typed his reply instantly.  _ Good luck xoxo. _

* * *

Sander had disappeared into the kitchen with Senne when Robbe looked up to see Jens coming in the front door, Moyo trailing behind. He felt a lump grow in his throat seeing his best friend after what felt like years. When Jens saw him, he gave him a small nod and pushed through the already crowded space to stop in front of Robbe. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Robbe said. He hesitated, waiting for Jens to say something else. Jens shifted, looking at his feet and then back at Robbe.

“Look man, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said all of that stuff. It was stupid.”

Robbe nodded and then pulled Jens in for a hug. It was hard to stay mad at him, no matter what he’d done. Jens seemed to relax into the hug and had a smile on his face when Robbe pulled away.

“But I’m not the only one you have to apologize to.” Robbe said, serious now. He watched Jens for signs of hesitation but was met with only an understanding nod. 

They both looked at the door to the kitchen, Sander’s familiar laugh bursting through and he and Senne came back into the living room, beers in both hands. Senne handed one off to Milan, who was flirting with a guy dressed as a devil in the corner before settling next to Zoe and Jana, dressed as a cat. Sander found Robbe and Robbe watched his smile fall a little when he saw Jens. Robbe gave him an encouraging nod and Sander approached, albeit without the same pep he’d had moments ago. If Jens noticed, he didn’t say anything, eyes back on his feet as Sander approached. Robbe waited as the two boys stood, the silence growing more uncomfortable with each moment. Finally, Robbe cleared his throat and both Sander and Jens looked at him.

“You two need to talk. I can’t have my two favorite guys fighting like this. It’s miserable for me and for everyone else.”

Sander and Jens exchanged a glance. Robbe sighed in frustration, shaking his head.

“Seriously?”

Jens sighed and then quietly said,

“I’m really sorry Sander. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

Sander just nodded, waiting for Jens to continue.

“I just...Robbe’s my best friend, and I think I was being a little overprotective. But you’re my friend too and so I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I’m sorry, man.”

Sander was watching Jens intently and when he’d finally finished, Robbe watched his boyfriend give Jens a small smile. 

“Doing stupid things because you love Robbe? Understandable.” Sander said.

Robbe felt his own shoulders drop from his ears as he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. The other two boys didn’t notice though, arms tight around each other in a hug. Robbe couldn’t help but pile on. 

“I wish Lucas were here. We could make this a full love fest.” Sander said with a laugh as they pulled apart. Jens laughed too, but added,

“I do too. I really miss him.”

“Why aren’t you in Utrecht tonight?” Robbe asked. Jens shrugged.

“I didn’t want to abandon everybody because I missed my boyfriend.”

Robbe and Sander looked at one another. 

“Yeah, no that’s exactly what you should have done.” Robbe said. Sander gave Robbe a look, the one Robbe knew meant he had an idea.

“And maybe he still can.”

Jens just watched them, not understanding what was going on. But before he could say anything, Sander had taken his hand and was pulling him towards the door, Robbe following behind. 

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see!” Sander cried. 

* * *

Lucas was pleasantly buzzed now, and had actually decided Janna’s new friends weren’t half bad. They all had a decent sense of humor and had let Lucas share their good beer, not letting him drink the six pack of whatever cheap thing Jayden had found. Lucas listening to one of them tell a story when his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen, and seeing Jens’ name, excused himself from the group.

“Hey. Home already?”

“Not exactly.” He heard Jens saying. 

“Hi Lucas!” Robbe yelled in the background. Lucas smiled.

“So you made up with Robbe.”

Jens hummed an affirmative response. 

“What are you guys doing? Where are you?”

Just then someone came inside, getting a shriek from Isa. It was so loud, Lucas felt like he could hear it through the phone. He looked to the front door and nearly shrieked himself. Standing there was Jens, Sander and Robbe flanking from behind, looking hilarious in their Halloween costumes. 

“Is anyone here a doctor?” Jens asked, smiling wide as he watched Lucas practically run up to him.

“What are you doing here?”

Jens looked back at Robbe and Sander, who were watching them, smiling.

“It was all Robbe and Sander.”

Lucas looked past Jens to meet their gaze.

“Thank you.” He said simply, before turning back to Jens and pulling him in for a kiss. Lucas thought Isa might be shrieking again, but he couldn’t hear her over the sound of the fireworks in his head. 

* * *

Robbe leaned against Sander, watching the night fly by in the window of the train. At this time of night, they basically had the whole train car to themselves and had wasted no time stretching out for the long ride home. 

“You’re a good friend, you know that.” He said, looking up at Sander now. 

Sander just shrugged.

“I just did what I’d want anyone to do for me, if I were separated from you.”

Robbe nestled into Sander’s chest again, watching beyond the window into the darkness again. He felt Sander’s lips on the top of his head, a quick peck as he settled back into his seat.

“You taste like hairspray.” He groaned. 

“Blame Zoe.”

“Your hair is going to be a nightmare to wash.”

“Guess you’ll just have to help me.” Robbe said, trying to be cheeky. He felt a jab in his side from Sander but then his lips on his head again. 

"I can do that."

Robbe smiled, watching the world fly by, and feeling like he and Sander might be the only two people in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	8. all alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sander and Jens can tell their boyfriends are not okay, and step in to take care of them.

Robbe rolled his head back and forth, trying to work on the crink forming at the base of his skull. He’d been hunched over his desk for so long he could feel the sore spots in his back and shoulders forming. But he couldn’t let up. He’d gotten behind on his homework over the past few weeks and was desperate to catch up before the next wave of exams started. 

He sighed, suppressing a yawn and shaking his head. He had a few more pages to read and then he could go to bed. 

Leaning over his book, he nearly yelped when he felt two strong hands on his shoulders. 

“What are you still doing up, baby?” Sander said, voice quiet in the darkness. 

Robbe turned his head, leaning back into Sander as he stared up at him from his seat. 

“Just trying to get my reading done.”

“It’s four am.” 

He looked at the clock on his desk. Sure enough, the red glowing numbers confirmed the time. How was it so late already? Or was it early?

“Oops.”

“Come to bed.”

“I just have a few more pages.” Robbe said, feeling Sander’s fingers involuntarily digging into the knots that had formed along his shoulder blades.

“I’m going to get a water. You can read until I get back.” Sander said sternly. Robbe could tell from his expression that there was no point in arguing with him over it. He was never going to win this fight. Instead, he nodded and leaned his face so Sander could lean in for a kiss before he walked quietly out of Robbe’s room and towards the kitchen. 

Robbe scanned the last few pages of his book, knowing he only had a few minutes before Sander would be back. He tried to gather as much information as he could from the pages, the information crowding into his already overstuffed brain. Even reading thoroughly at this point would have been wasted effort and hearing Sander’s soft shuffle as he moved back towards Robbe’s room, Robbe closed his book, shoving it into his backpack and made his way to the bed. Stripping off his sweats and t-shirt, he slid under the covers just as Sander reappeared and Robbe was, as always, struck by how handsome he looked in the low light, even with an epic case of bedhead. He smiled seeing Robbe under the covers and flipped off the light before getting in bedside him, cuddling into Robbe’s chest. 

Robbe closed his eyes, and listened to Sander’s breath deepen as he fell back to sleep. Robbe on the other hand, couldn’t sleep, working through the reading and equations and sentences he’d written over the last five hours of studying he’d done. He laid like that, eyes closed, giving the illusion of sleep as to not to disturb Sander, until his alarm finally let him open his eyes and go through the motions of waking up. 

* * *

“Mom?” Lucas called down the hall. Nothing. 

At least he knew she’d eaten, the empty bowl and silverware left outside her door. He collected them, making his way to the kitchen. He scrubbed the bowl and utensils and left them to dry, knowing he would just reuse them for the next meal, moving a pan and a pot to make room for them. 

He looked around the kitchen noticing, not for the first time, the piles of paperwork, empty carton from his cereal, and the rest of the mess he’d let pile up. He’d get to it later he promised himself. It had been a long week, but it was Friday and he could clean all weekend.

His phone pinged in his pocket, and he set down the bowl to fish it out. He smiled when he saw Jens’ name onscreen. _Good morning handsome xoxo._ Lucas shot back his own morning greeting and then hustled to get ready. He was already running behind and knew he needed to meet up with Isa before class to exchange notes for their exam after lunch. 

He was brushing his teeth when another text came from Jens. _How’s your mom doing?_ He sighed, weighing how best to answer. _Doing okay._ He replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was just an easier truth to swallow. In reality, he wasn’t sure how she was doing. She’d come out of her room only a handful of times, and he knew that she’d been spending most of her days sleeping. But, it was like this for them sometimes, and Lucas knew what to do. He could handle it.

“Bye Mom. See you later.” He called out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

“Robbe!” Yasmina called, waving to him across the way. She was perched on a picnic table with the rest of the girls, waiting for the bell to ring before they headed inside to class. He waved at her and slowed his pace, pausing in front of them.

“Did you finish the assignment for today?” She asked. Robbe nodded, already fishing it out of his backpack and handing it to her. She scanned it, comparing answers to her own. She made a few notes on her own worksheet, and handed it back to him.

“Thank you.”

“Welcome. See you.”

“Where are you rushing off to?” Jana asked. 

“Just want to finish the reading for History.”

“We had reading to do?” Amber asked, horrified. Robbe nodded, watching Amber tear through her bag for her book. 

“Pages 100 to 120. Good luck.” He said, leaving them to find a quiet corner to re-read the last few pages he’d skimmed the night before. 

He was just getting into a rhythm when Aaron stopped in front of him. 

“Hey. Can you help me? I need to decide what to caption this picture of Amber and I…”

Robbe looked up at him.

“Aaron, I need to finish this. Could you ask Moyo or something?”

“But you’re the romantic one.” Aaron pleaded. 

“Just quote her favorite movie or something.” Robbe offered, not wanting to offend Aaron but feeling the familiar pang of annoyance and anxiety mixing in his stomach. He only had a few minutes to finish his own work. 

“I really need to read Aaron.” He said again. Aaron just nodded. 

“The movie idea is good. Thanks.” 

He sighed as Aaron walked away, but turned his attention to the pages, managing to finish just as the bell rang and he was swept into the crowd towards his History class. 

* * *

Lucas watched Jaden and Kes play fight as they ate their lunches outside, enjoying an unseasonably warm November day. 

“Give it back.” Jaden whined, trying to grab at the phone in Kes’ hand. 

“Not until you agree to message her.” Kes argued back.

Jaden’s hands fell to his side as he gave up the struggle. 

“Fine.”

“Really?”

Jaden nodded and Kes gave him back his phone. Lucas laughed as they leaned close, Kes dictating the best opening line for Jaden to send to the new girl in his gym class. The phone in his own hand reminded Lucas he had his own message to compose.

_Am I going to see you this weekend?_

Lucas looked at Jens’ words and sighed. Kes heard him and looked up.

“What’s up?”

Lucas shook his head. He didn’t want to get into it. Kes just watched him, waiting.

“Everything okay with Jens?”

Lucas met his gaze, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Everything is great.”

“So why do you look so bummed?”

“Just wish I could see him this weekend.”

“And why can’t you?” Kes asked. Jaden was watching now. Apparently, Lucas’ love life was much more interesting than his own. Lucas knew he should just tell them about his mom. They’d known him so long, they knew what it could be like. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it today. 

“Just too much to do. And I never get anything done when we’re together.”

“Because you’re too busy having --”

Lucas laughed and put up his hand, cutting Jaden off. Kes eyed him skeptically, and Lucas knew he didn’t quite believe him. He shook of the thought. 

“Enough. We need to get to class.”

* * *

Robbe’s phone buzzed again, but he ignored it. He knew he should just turn it off but he was waiting for a call from his momma and didn’t want to miss it. She was away for a long weekend, visiting her sister, and had told Robbe she’d call when she arrived. He looked back at the worksheet in front of him, numbers and letters blurring together. He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. He was so tired, and it was making studying nearly impossible, but every time he laid down, he just started thinking about school and couldn’t sleep. 

His phone ringing cut through the silence. 

“Hi momma.” He said, trying to sound cheery.

“Hi sweetheart. How are you?” She asked. 

“I’m fine. How was the trip?” He asked, trying to suppress a yawn.

“My trip was fine.” She said. He hoped that meant she hadn’t heard the yawn. 

“Are you sure you’re alright honey? You sound tired.”

Apparently, he hadn’t hidden the yawn as well as he’d thought. 

“I’m sure. Just working on homework.”

“Okay, well I’ll let you get back to it. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Bye. I love you.” Robbe said. 

“I love you. Promise you’ll go to bed early tonight?” She asked.

“Promise.” He said. 

They hung up and Robbe went back to his work for another hour, his breaks more and more frequent as he fought off a small headache. He’d had these before, always the response from his brain when he’d been pushed to a few days of sleepless nights. He sighed, making his way to the kitchen for a water to take some medicine with. 

He was halfway down the hall when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Sander standing there, grinning at him, a take-out bag in his hand. He pushed past Robbe, and headed for the kitchen, forcing Robbe to follow. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d come check on you. Make sure you’re eating.” Sander said, turning to kiss him before wrapping his arms around Robbe’s shoulders. 

“Oh.” Robbe said. 

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Sander asked, pouting a little. Robbe tried to give him his best reassuring smile before standing on his tiptoes to kiss him again, pulling the older boy closer. 

“Of course I am.” Robbe whispered, their foreheads pressed together. 

“Good.” Sander said, pulling away. “Then let’s eat.”

Robbe looked towards his bedroom.

“No more studying Robbe. Food first. You need food if you’re going to be able to think anymore.” Sander said, pulling him to the table.

“Sorry I didn’t message you back.” Robbe said, thinking about the slew of messages on his phone he’d eventually have to reply to. Sander just shrugged. 

“I know how you are when you’re focused.” 

Robbe pulled him in for another kiss.

“Thank you for coming over anyway.”

“Of course.” Sander said, smiling at him now. Robbe just smiled back. 

And so they ate, and talked, and Robbe felt the tightness in his chest loosen a little. Eating had made him feel better and when they were finished, Sander sent him back to his room to work while Sander cleaned up. 

Robbe found the work significantly easier to do, and raced through the end of his worksheet, the last of his homework for the day. He was just putting it away when Sander came in, watching him from the doorway.

“All finished?”

“All finished.”

“Good, then time for bed.”

Robbe looked at the clock. It was just after 9 o’clock. 

“It’s early.”

“Not when you barely got any sleep last night.” Sander said, pulling back the covers and fluffing Robbe’s pillow.

“Sander.” 

Sander just gave him a look. Robbe huffed and reluctantly walked towards the bed, letting Sander pull off his sweatshirt and jeans, sneaking kisses along his jaw and throat and bare chest as he undressed Robbe. Finally, he kissed his forehead and pulled Robbe towards the bed, stripping off his own pants and climbing in beside him. 

Robbe moved to let Sander cuddle in, but Sander pulled his arm around Robbe and Robbe found himself wrapped into Sander’s chest, head on his heart. Robbe could hear its beating against his ear and closed his eyes, content to listen to that sound all night. He felt Sander’s hand running up and down along his arm, and took a deep breath, finally relaxed.

The next thing he knew, Robbe was being woken up by his alarm, still wrapped up tight against Sander. 

* * *

Lucas sat, watching the TV but not paying attention to what was playing. He’d eaten dinner with his mom, in front of her favorite show, before she’d slipped back into her room. Now Lucas was just waiting until the appropriate time to go to bed. He knew he should clean up the kitchen, or sort the laundry, but he was so tired that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

Suddenly, a knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and Lucas sprang up to see who could be at his place at 9 o’clock on a Friday. 

He was surprised to open the door to find Jens waiting for him, duffle bag in hand.

“Hi.” Jens said, smiling at him. Lucas just stared, confused. Jens laughed. “Can I come in?”

Lucas moved out of the way, letting Jens in out of the chilly fall air. He dropped his bag, taking in the living room, much messier than Lucas imagined Jens had ever seen it. 

“Sorry for the mess. My mom’s been--”

Jens just gave a knowing nod. 

“When his mom wasn’t feeling well, Robbe and I used to see how high our soda can pyramids could get before we had to take them out.” 

Lucas smiled at that image, and at Jens’ subtle reminder that he understood the situation better than almost anyone. Lucas appreciated him for that. Closing the distance between them, Lucas finally let himself enjoy the presence of his gorgeous boyfriend. He pulled him in for a hug and then gave him a short kiss. 

“C’mon.” He said, pulling him towards his room.

Lucas woke up a little while later, bare chest exposed from under the covers and a little cold. He rolled over, but found the bed next to him empty. He looked around the dark room, but Jens was nowhere to be seen. Lucas pulled himself out of bed, reaching for his discarded sweatpants and sweater before fumbling through the dark and into the hallway. 

He could hear the water running in the kitchen and was surprised to see Jens at the sink, soap suds up to his elbows. Sitting across from him was Lucas’ mom. He came to a stop when they both turned to look at him.

“Luc, you didn’t tell me Jens was coming this weekend.” His mom teased, a small smile on her face as she stood. 

“It was a surprise.” Lucas said, still watching them. 

He looked around, noticing only now that the counters had been cleared of their junk and all of the kitchenware had been put away. The smell of laundry detergent wafting from down the hall made him think that he’d find clean t-shirts waiting for him by morning. 

“I’m going to go read for a little while. Love you.” She said, slipping by him, giving him a loving squeeze on the shoulder. 

Lucas gave her a kiss and watched her disappear down the hall before looking back at Jens, who was doing a final wipe of the counter. Satisfied, he put down the dishtowel he’d been using. Lucas gestured towards the clean kitchen.

“You did all this?”

Jens just nodded with a shrug.

“Figured it might make your life a little easier.”

Lucas swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to form at bay. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jens said, closing the distance between them to plant a kiss on Lucas’ lips. Lucas wrapped his arms around Jens’ neck, pulling him in closer. When they finally broke apart, Lucas whispered,

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Leave comments and kudos if you feel so inclined - they mean a lot to me.


	9. one foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sander, Robbe, Milan and Senne go out for karaoke night while Jens makes a bold declaration of his own.

Lucas pulled Isa into a hug, getting a face full of her hair as she stood on tiptoes to wrap her arms around his shoulders and pull him in tight. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” She asked, slipping out of his grasp to pull on her coat. Lucas shook his head, watching her gather her stuff. 

Kes was already waiting by the door, keys in hand.

“He’s got a date.” 

Lucas shook his head but smiled anyway, Isa watching him curiously.

“Jens is just getting here in a couple hours.”

Now Isa was scowling at him. 

“Were you just gonna disappear for the whole weekend with that gorgeous boyfriend of yours and not tell anyone he was here?”  
“Yeah, that was kind of the plan.” Lucas nodded.

Isa narrowed her eyes.

“That’s not nice Luc.”

“Let the guy have some quiet time with his boyfriend Isa. We see him all week.”

“But we don’t see Jens ever!” She complained.

Lucas laughed and shook his head again. 

“Come on Isa. Leave him alone.” Kes said, hand on the door now, trying to urge his girlfriend to get out of Lucas’ hair. Isa shot Lucas another look and started toward the door.

“Bye Luc.” Kes said, throwing him a wave as he walked out. Isa followed, blowing a kiss at Lucas and shutting the door behind her.

Lucas sank back into the couch, suddenly exhausted. The silence in his place was overwhelming after an afternoon with Isa and Kes. He looked at his phone, trying not to overanalyze his most recent interaction with Jens. Sure, Jens hadn’t said “I love you” back when Lucas had said it the week before, but he had still asked to come see Lucas this weekend. That had to be a good sign. That, or he’d thought about it, got freaked out and was coming to break up with Lucas.

Luc took in a big breath, letting the oxygen calm his mind. Jens wasn’t coming to break up with him. He was already hinting at Christmas presents and it was only the beginning of November. That wasn’t something you did if you were going to break up with someone. Lucas took another deep breath. 

Lucas thought about that moment again, when those words had slipped out. Jens’ eyes went wide and then he just kissed Lucas, holding him close until Lucas pulled him towards his bedroom. 

Rationally, Lucas knew Jens didn’t even need to say it back. The clean kitchen and laundry properly folded and put away when he’d woken up the next day were more than enough to remind Lucas that Jens cared. Lucas tried to remember that as the fear crept back up. His phone buzzed. It was Jens.

_ Train gets in at 9. See you then. _

_ See you then.  _

* * *

Robbe loved nights like this, he thought as he took in his surroundings. Sander was absentmindedly running a hand up and down his arm as they sat on the couch together. Senne and Jens were opposite them, drinking beer and laughing at Jens’ story about some adventure he and Lucas had gone on. 

“When are we going to see your handsome boyfriend again?” Robbe asked Jens, catching the way Jens’ ears got red like they always did when he was embarrassed, his’ eyes drifting to the duffle bag by the front door, as if making sure once again it was there for his trip.

“Next weekend.” He said, “for my party.”

“I like Lucas. He’s a nice guy.” Senne said.

“I like him too.” Jens said, smiling wide. Robbe studied him, happy for his best friend. Senne turned to Robbe and Sander now.

“And you two have your anniversary this week right?”

Sander and Robbe both nodded.

“What do you have planned?”

Robbe tilted his head to look up at the platinum blonde beside him.

“I don’t know. Sander won’t tell me anything.”

Sander laughed.

“You planned our 6 month anniversary. It’s my turn.” Sander protested. Robbe just smiled at him, leaning up for a kiss. 

“Fair point.”

Senne laughed.

“So it’s going to be impressive whatever it is. You have to stop telling Zoe these dates. You’re making me look bad.”

“Hey, I travel to another country to see my boyfriend.” Jens said, getting a shove from Senne.

“Don’t remind me. Zoe gets mad when I don’t want to travel across the city to see her.”

Robbe and Jens exchanged a look.

“When have you ever not spent time with Zoe when you could?” Jens asked, skeptical. Senne shrugged. 

“Tonight.”

“She’s at girls’ night.”

“I’m sure it’s happened.” Senne said, but Robbe could tell by his smile he didn’t even believe that. 

“The things we do for love.” Sander said, giving Robbe’s shoulder a squeeze and earning a smile from Senne. Jens looked back at his bag again. He’d done that a lot tonight. 

“You good Jens?” Sander asked. Apparently Robbe wasn’t the only one to notice.

Jens looked back at them and gave a small smile and head nod.

“Yeah just thinking.”

“About Lucas?” Robbe teased, getting an eye roll from Jens.

“You really like him, don’t you?” 

A nod from Jens. It was obvious to Robbe, even if it wasn’t to Jens. He’d changed so much since he’d met the Dutch boy this summer. He’d mellowed out even more, if that were even possible and matured quite a bit. And more than anything he was happy. Like he was finally at peace with himself and the world. Robbe loved seeing him like this and made a note to thank Lucas for his best friend’s new demeanor next weekend when he saw him.

But the quiet that had fallen over the group was interrupted by a figure bursting in through the front door.

“There you all are!”

“Milan, we told you we were coming to Sander’s.” Senne said, giving his friend a wry smile. Milan just waved his hand, dismissing the facts in favor of the drama.

“Who’s ready?”

“Ready for what?” Robbe asked, already hesitant. With Milan, it was always safer to air on the side of caution before committing to anything.

“Karaoke!”

Jens took this as his opportunity to flee. He stood, giving Milan a quick hug before grabbing his duffle bag.

“I’ve got a train to catch.”

With a wave he was gone, and Milan looked at the rest of them impatiently. Robbe and Senne exchanged a glance but before Robbe could say anything, Sander was already chiming in.

“Let’s do it.”

Robbe sighed quietly. The things he did for love. 

* * *

Lucas stood in his usual spot, waiting for Jens to appear from the crowd exiting the train. Finally, he saw his dark haired boyfriend. When their eyes met, Lucas felt the butterflies in his stomach, just like he did every time he saw Jens. Jens smiled, jogging to close the distance between them. Once he was close enough, he wrapped his arms around Lucas’ shoulders, his familiar laundry detergent smell enveloping Lucas as he pulled him in for a hug. 

“Hi cutie.” Jens whispered. 

“Hi handsome.” Lucas said.

Reluctantly, they pulled apart from each other, but Lucas quickly took Jens’ free hand in his own as they walked out of the station. 

“How was the trip?”

“Fine. Got some homework done.” 

“Wow. Look at you. Trying to impress me with your brain or something?” Lucas teased.

Jens gave him a playful shove. 

“I knew I’d never get much done here. Wanted to get it out of the way.”

Lucas smiled at him.

“What? You know it’s true.”

Lucas nodded. 

“I know.”

Jens leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. They walked to Lucas’ house, dropping off Jens’ stuff and then went to their favorite place for fries. As they ate, they talked about school and their parents and the party Jens was throwing next weekend. 

“You should invite Kes, Isa, Jayden...everybody.” Jens said, looking at Lucas now.

Lucas watched him eat his fry.

“You sure? That’s a lot of people.”

“It’s a party. That’s kind of the point.”

Lucas shrugged.

“But it’s a lot of my friends.”

“Yeah I know.”

“You sure you want to subject your friends to that?”

“Luc, I want our friends to get along. They’ve gotta meet sometime.”

Lucas nodded.

“Okay. I’ll invite them.”

Jens gave him a salty, greasy kiss. 

They finished eating, wiping their hands down and walking back out into the chilly November night. Lucas felt Jens wrap their hands together between them and they walked quietly for a few blocks, taking in the light chatter of the bars and restaurants they passed, other people spilling out onto the sidewalks as they went. 

They were just getting to Lucas’ street when Jens pulled him to a stop, hesitating on the corner of the block. Lucas looked at him, waiting. 

“Hey.” Jens said finally, meeting Lucas’ gaze.

“Hi.”

“I love you.” Jens said. 

If the butterflies had been intense earlier, now they had multiplied. He just stared at Jens for a moment, met with a wide smile on the Belgian’s face. 

“I love you too.” Luc finally said, smiling wide as he pulled Jens in for a kiss.

* * *

Robbe watched in mock horror as Senne and Milan scream-sang through the end of their duet, laughing and smiling wide on the small stage at the packed karaoke bar Milan had forced them to. Beside him, Sander was bobbing along, cheering wildly as the song finally came to an end. Around them, the audience clapped and some even gave them a standing ovation. Robbe imagined that had nothing to do with their actual singing and everything to do with Milan’s stage presence and the multiple attempts he’d made to pull off Sene’s shirt. 

They walked back towards Sander and Robbe, getting pats on the back from onlookers as they made their way. 

“Well done.” Robbe said, clinking his glass against Senne’s. 

“And now we’d like to welcome Sander Dreisen to the stage!” The emcee called out.

Robbe’s head swiveled to Sander, who just gave him a wink.

“What are you singing?” He asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

Robbe just gave him a head shake and a smile, watching his boyfriend cut through the crowd to take his place onstage. He looked out into the crowd for a moment, and Robbe could tell when Sander had spotted him through the stage lights. He waited for a moment before the song began to play. Robbe recognized it instantly.

“Rebel Rebel.” He said, looking at Milan and Senne who both nodded approvingly. 

They all heard this song about a thousand times since Sander came into their lives a year ago. It was the soundtrack to Sunday breakfast croques and to game nights in the old flat and to parties at Sander’s new apartment. For Robbe, it was a wild grocery shopping experience with a stranger that had turned out to be the first page of a love story. They smiled at one another, each clearly thinking back to a memory with the song. Robbe knew his smile was the widest. 

Onstage, Sander was getting into it, giving a performance Bowie would be proud of. Robbe watched everyone in the audience falling in love with him at once and a burst of pride ran through him. It intensified when Sander found him again, just in time to serenade him with the line “hot tramp I love you so.” 

And in that moment, Robbe felt like the only one in the bar, the only one in the world. For the rest of the song, it was like Sander was singing just for Robbe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Leave kudos and comments - I love seeing what you think!
> 
> Stay safe and wash your hands!!


	10. stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe and Sander celebrate their 1 year anniversary and Jens and Lucas throw a party for all of their friends.

“Can I open my eyes yet?” 

“No.”

Robbe grumbled a little under his breath, but kept his eyes shut like he was told, letting Sander pull him along, his rough hand warm in Robbe’s. 

“Careful.”

Robbe was about to ask what that meant when his foot caught on the uneven sidewalk and he lurched forward, nearly falling to the ground when Sander’s hand left his to grab his shoulder instead. Once he was straightened out, he felt Sander take his hand again and start leading him forward, slower this time. 

“I told you to be careful.” Sander said with a breathy laugh. 

Robbe knew the face his boyfriend was making even with seeing him, Sander’s eyes wide and mouth tight in a straight-lipped smirk feigning innocence. Instead of replying, Robbe just tugged at his hand again, making Sander slow down so that they were walking side by side now. 

“Are we almost there?”

“Almost.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t that Robbe was impatient. Well he was, but he was also curious. He didn’t know how Sander was going to top everything he’d already done for Robbe over the last year of their relationship. There was no occasion too small for Sander to shower Robbe with affection, with one big romantic gesture or another. 

He squeezed Sander’s hand and immediately Sander returned the gesture. The wind whipped up around them, pulling at Robbe’s hood. He felt a little shiver run down his spine. Despite his trusty brown jacket, a hoodie and a beanie, he was still chilly, the November night the cold reminder that winter was around the corner. He felt Sander’s free hand reach up to adjust his hood for him, sliding it low over his cheeks and forehead. 

“We’re close.”

“Okay.” Robbe responded. 

The wind died down and Robbe could tell they must in front of a structure. He heard the door open, and Sander ushered him inside. 

“You can open your eyes now.”

Robbe opened his eyes and was surprised to find that they were at a cafe. He looked around but didn’t recognize it. He looked at Sander, waiting for an explanation. Sander just gave him his signature smirk and pulled on his hand, towards a table in the back, empty and seemingly waiting for them. 

Robbe watched Sander, beautiful in the soft warm glow of the candle on the table between them, as they took their seats and ordered coffees from the waitress. 

“This place is cool.” Robbe said, offering an opportunity for an explanation. Sander just nodded. 

“It’s close to school. I come here sometimes to sketch between classes. Lot of my classmates do too.”  
Robbe smiled at the thought, looking around to try and imagine the place packed with other art students, leaving pencil shavings and scraps of poetry on napkins alongside their afternoon lattes. 

“But you’re probably wondering why I brought you here for our anniversary.”

Robbe just shrugged, knowing it would all make sense in the end. It always did with Sander. 

“And I know this isn’t as flashy as some of the other things I’ve done for you…”

Robbe reached across the table now, reassuringly taking his hand.

“I don’t care if it’s flashy. I’m just happy to be together.”

Sander smiled, but continued anyway. 

“But this anniversary I wanted to do something a little different. I’ve told you I love you. I’ve told the world. Now I just want to remind you how much.”

With that, Sander pulled a gift from his trusty duffle bag, sliding it across the table to Robbe. 

“Our love story kind of started here in a way. I’d already seen you that night with Noor, when we painted the trucks. But I was here when Brit called me about the beach trip. When I heard Noor was coming with her boyfriend...well...I said okay.”

Robbe just watched Sander, shocked. He hadn’t realized, although he should have, that Sander knew exactly what he was doing when he wound up on that beach trip. Sander smiled at him and then gestured to the gift, diverting Robbe’s attention back to it.

Robbe looked at him for another moment and then at the gift, carefully unwrapping the packaging, letting the anticipation grow. It was rectangular, and somewhat thin, and Robbe tried to think of what it could be. 

Finally, Robbe pulled off the paper to reveal the cover of a picture book, an illustration of two boys holding hands and smiling up at him on the cover. The title read “Through Parallel Universes” and the boys looked very familiar. One had curly brown hair and a brown jacket while the other had bleached blonde hair and a black jacket. Robbe looked up at Sander who gave him an encouraging nod. Robbe flipped open to the first page, where the platinum blonde boy was sitting at a desk doodling. 

“There once was a boy named Sander, who lived in Belgium and dreamed of life on Mars. He wanted to leave his boring life and his messy brain by finding a way to escape. And then one night, he saw him - the boy in the brown jacket, and Sander could tell, just by looking, that this boy was special. His name was Robbe.”

Robbe looked up at Sander now, tears in his eyes. He kept reading, hearing his own love story told back to him in a children’s book, with illustrations of all of the best moments of his life with Sander staring back at him in the pages of the printed book. 

The story of course took some creative liberties. The Robbe in the book was able to travel through to the different parallel universes, and would take Sander with him on his many adventures, always shifting into different versions of themselves as they slipped through the multiverse. In Rome, they were named Martino and Niccolo, Robbe’s curls a deep red and Sander’s platinum locks now black as night. In Paris, they were Lucas and Elliot, so small and so tall. In Berlin, they were Matteo and David, kissing in an empty pool. In Madrid, they were Cris and Joana, girls with puffy coats and colorful hair. And in Oslo, they were Isak and Even, a little older, living together, but still just as in love. That was the common thread among the universes: it didn’t matter where Robbe and Sander went, they were always together and always in love.

By now, Robbe wasn’t even trying to hide his tears, dabbing at them with the napkin that had come with his coffee. 

Finally, he looked up at Sander, who was smiling wide. 

“I love you.” Robbe said, softly for fear his voice would crack. 

“I’ll always love you, in every universe.” Sander told him, smiling ear to ear as Robbe leaned over for a kiss.

* * *

Lucas pulled Jens by the shirt, holding him close on the couch. Jens shifted, lowering his full body weight onto Lucas, letting himself be dragged down into the kiss. Lucas would have smiled, but didn’t want to interrupt their moment, even for a second. 

They’d been running around all day, getting things ready for the party Jens was throwing tonight. Lucas knew his phone was probably buzzing even now, his friends all on a train headed their way. And Lucas was so glad that they were coming- but right now, he just wanted to make out with his boyfriend for a while. There would be enough socializing soon, when the house was full of people and they were stuck playing host. Lucas wanted to get his Jens time in now, knowing any moment…

And just like that their moment was over, the knock on the door cutting through the serene silence they’d been enjoying. Jens grumbled against Lucas but pulled away, albeit reluctantly, to head for the door.

“Don’t answer. Maybe they’ll think we’re not home.”

“It’s our party babe.”

Lucas swallowed, trying to tamper the butterflies in his stomach and the way his breath hitched in his throat. Between the use of the term “our” and “babe” Lucas felt lucky he was already sitting down or his knees might have buckled. Out loud, he just groaned but moved to stand up, snacking an arm around Jens’ waist just as he opened the front door to find Aaron and Amber waiting. They each had alcohol in hand and smiled wide at Lucas, throwing their arms around him for hugs before moving to Jens and then finding their way to the kitchen. 

Soon enough, as Lucas suspected, the house was full of people and the length of the living room separated him from Jens. 

“You know, you could just go over and talk to him.” Someone whispered in his ear. 

Lucas had been so focused watching Jens talking to Engel, he hadn’t noticed Isa sneak up on him. Last he’d seen her, she’d been doing shots in the kitchen with Jana, the combined chaotic energy enough to send Lucas running for the safety of the living room. 

“I know.” Lucas said, somehow still shy about Jens despite everything. 

Isa gave him a look and then turned back to the party, gesturing to the group, all blended together into one big dysfunctional family, just like Jens promised.

“I haven’t had this much fun in a while.” She mused. 

“You have this much fun every weekend.” Lucas said.

“Okay, you’re right. But not with new friends.”

“New friends? You like them that much already?”

“I do.”

Lucas looked around the room, at the two groups he’d grown to love so much. They had blended together so easily tonight it was hard to tell the Dutch from the Belgians, all interspersed throughout Jens’ living room and kitchen. Some of the groupings made sense. Moyo and Jayden immediately bonded over skateboarding while Sander and Noah, already friends, had fallen into an easy rhythm with Noor and Janna. There were surprises too; Senne and Ralph ganging up to tease Liv and Zoe, Yasmina and Kes in the corner, deep in conversation and laughing at something together. Kes caught their gaze and waved Isa over. She gave Lucas an assuring smile and nudged him in Jens’ direction. 

As Lucas approached, Engel caught his gaze and he watched her expertly excuse herself from her conversation with Jens just as Lucas arrived. Jens turned to see him and closed the small distance left between them in order to kiss Lucas, smirking into the kiss as someone let out an encouraging catcall from across the room. Lucas couldn’t tell if it was Milan or Ralph, but he didn’t care. He was just happy to kiss Jens, and happier that he could do it out in the open like this. Now he was smiling too, interrupting their kissing. Jens pulled away, pouting a little.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Lucas assured him, running his fingers along Jens’ creased eyebrows. He looked at his boyfriend, the gold flecks in his brown eyes almost glittering in the low light of the party. Lucas continued, running his fingers through Jens’ hair now, 

“I was just thinking about the first time we met. If you’d told me then that I’d be kissing you in front of all of our friends like this, I would have pushed you off that roof.”

“That’s pretty mean considering that I was nice enough to share my weed with you that night.”

Lucas laughed again, wrapping his arms around Jens’ neck now and taking a step towards him as Jens wrapped his arms around his waist, running his fingers along Lucas’ lower back absentmindedly. The rest of the party had forgotten about them by now, and the noise grew around them as Jana and Janna initiated a drinking game in the kitchen. 

“I’m glad you were at that party.” Jens said softly. 

“I’m glad you offered me weed.” Lucas replied. 

Jens smiled at that and Lucas couldn’t help but kiss him again, and then leaned in close to whisper,

“And I’ll be glad when all of these people leave.”

With that he winked at Jens and started for the kitchen to join the game. He turned to see Jens watching him, dumbfounded. With a laugh, Lucas grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Can't believe there's only one chapter left. Since fun's Some Nights album ends with a bonus track I'm treating next week like a bonus chapter, and it'll be from Sander and Jens' POVs. Can't wait for you to read it!
> 
> Stay safe, and wash your hands!


	11. out on the town (bonus track)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jens, Lucas, Robbe and Sander enjoy a night out together, while already planning for their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little epilogue - told from Jens and Sander’s POV

Jens listened to the rhythm of their skateboards gliding across the sidewalk in unison, one hand out to the side for balance, the other occasionally linking together with Lucas’ as they rode facing each other towards their usual spot for skating. He watched Lucas looking around, taking in the still unfamiliar surroundings. They’d been to this spot a few times over the last six months, but Lucas was still taking it all in. Jens watched his small smile grow as he bit his lip to suppress a satisfied laugh. He knew what had caught Luc’s eye but Jens followed his gaze anyway. 

“That thing is…impressive.” Lucas said, giving a small tilt of his head towards the mural of Robbe. 

Jens didn’t blame his reaction. It still caught him by surprise sometimes. He remembered Robbe’s shock the first time he’d seen it, so lovesick over Sander but unable to get out of his own way to be with him. Jens had always been proud of Sander for the mural, even if he didn’t say it. It took a lot of guts to put his love so openly on display like that and yet the risk of losing Robbe outweighed any doubts Sander must have had, even as he painted it. Jens thought he finally understood what that must be like.

Jens looked back at Lucas now, only to realize he’d slowed to a stop as they reached the concrete barricades at the far edge of the skating area and was now studying the mural, board discarded. Jens grabbed his own board from under his feet and walked up to stand beside him, letting their hips bounce off each other as he pressed himself as close to Lucas as he could. Lucas smiled over at him, then put his attention back to the mural. 

“It was Sander’s big romantic gesture.” Jens said. He knew that Lucas had heard parts of Sander and Robbe’s story, so it didn’t take much more to explain its significance. 

“Sounds like it’s not the only one.” Luc said, eyes back on Jens now. 

Jens laughed. 

“No. It certainly wasn’t the only one.”

Lucas looked back at the mural once more before 180 degrees so his back was to it. 

“If I was Robbe, I would have hated it.” He mused. Jens looked at him, body still out toward the water.

“Oh then I should tell Sander to stop working on the one I commissioned of you.” he teased, laughing when he got a little shove from Lucas. 

“Where would you even put it?”

“The train station.” He said, almost too quickly. But it was the truth. If Jens was going to have to ride that stupid train, he wanted a reminder of the beautiful boy waiting at the other end of the tracks. 

Lucas bit his lip in a smile and looked out towards the skaters, avoiding Jens’ gaze. Jens just watched him, caught off guard once again at how perfect he looked, the midday sun catching his curls and making the blue in his eyes pop. Jens gave him a nudge, bringing him back from wherever his mind had drifted. Lucas looked at him and smiled. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jens echoed, leaning in to kiss him.

* * *

“Robbe?” Sander called, certain he’d heard Robbe come into the flat while he was finishing getting ready in the bathroom. 

“Hi! In here.” Robbe called out, voice echoing from the direction of the kitchen. 

Sander shifted back into the bathroom, doing a final check of his appearance before bouncing down the hall and entering the kitchen to find Robbe sitting on the counter top with a bag of cookies in his hand, scrolling through his phone. 

He looked up when he heard Sander enter and smiled wide. Sander watched him for a moment, smiling at how precious he was. 

Quickly crossing the room, he shifted to stand between Robbe’s knees. For once, it was Robbe who had to lean down to kiss him, tasting of chocolate and sugar. Using the moment of distraction, Sander snatched the bag of cookies from where Robbe had abandoned it on the counter.

“Hey!” Robbe said, huffing a little as Sander moved from him to put the cookies away.

“We’re about to eat dinner.” Sander argued, sliding the pantry door closed and leaving the cookies out of sight. 

Robbe pouted at him, trying his best to get his boyfriend to give into his intense sugar tooth. Sander simply shook his head, moving back to his abandoned spot in front of Robb. He ran his hands along Robbe’s thighs and up his sides, fingers brushing along the soft hoodie Robbe was wearing that looked suspiciously like one Sander had been looking for all day. Finally, he let his fingers come to rest on Robbe’s cheeks, fingers running along his cheekbones and jawline. Robbe smiled at him now, cookies forgotten, leaning down for another quick peck. 

“Should we get going?” Sander asked. Robbe nodded, reluctantly.

“We can come back to this after dinner.” Sander promised him, getting a smile out of Robbe. Now in agreement, he turned so his back was to the counter, letting his koala-like boyfriend wrap his legs around his waist and arms tight around his chest. 

“Good?”

“Good.” Robbe confirmed.

Sander carried him like that through the flat, all the way to the front door, getting a sloppy kiss on his cheek for his efforts before he set Robbe down to put on his shoes.

Outside, he laced his fingers with Robbe’s, leaning into him as they walked down the sidewalk, winter air cold but refreshing on their faces. The restaurant wasn’t far and Sander slowed their walk a little to admire the first Christmas decorations that had gone up. Robbe’s smile caught the light of the yellowing Christmas lights above their heads and Sander pulled him in close enough to kiss his forehead.

“My angel.” He whispered. 

Robbe looked up at him, doe-eyed and smiling wider now.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sander said, leaning in for a proper kiss.

* * *

Sander, Robbe, Jens and Lucas sat across from each other at the cafe, discarded dessert plates on the table in front of them. Jens watched Lucas and Robbe, each fighting back laughter and tears to tell Sander about their previous misadventures the weekend before. They could only make it through a few words each before the laughter would muffle anything intelligible they were trying to say. Sander gave Jens a look but Jens just shrugged. He was enjoying this way too much to ruin it by actually finishing the story. Sander smiled at him and then at the two sugar-high disasters sitting between them. Now Lucas and Robbe were just looking at each other, making the other laugh with every attempt one made to calm down the other. 

“Should we be afraid?” Sander asked, eyeing them. Jens laughed.

“Only of what they’re going to be like when they crash from the sugar.” Jens said. 

“Hey!” Robbe said, trying to sound offended, but laughing too hard to really care.

Sander and Jens exchanged a glance and shook their heads. Lucas and Robbe were calming down by that point, and Lucas lazily reached out for Jens’ hand, his own warm and soft as he interlocked their fingers, pulling Jens’ hand into his lap. 

“When are we going back to the beach?” Robbe asked, looking from Sander to Jens conspiritorily. 

Jens looked at Lucas, who shrugged before adding,

“Could be a fun way to spend New Years.”

Sander smiled wide, nodding his head frantically.

“Let’s do it.”

With that, Jens lost the three of them to their phones and their plans. He smiled as Sander and Lucas began brainstorming a shopping list and Robbe texted Zoe about where they should stay. He was more than happy to just sit back and watch them, glad to be here in this moment while planning for the next. He squeezed Lucas’ hand, still linked with his in Luc’s lap. 

* * *

Sander walked the long way home, hand lazily clutching Robbe’s while Jens and Lucas walked beside them, Lucas’ arm around Jens’ waist. Jens’ phone pinged in his pocket and he briefly glanced at it, long enough for Sander to see a photo of Lucas’ face smiling back at him.

“Cute background.” He said, giving Jens a knowing look.

Even in the dim light, he could see Jens’ cheeks redden but Lucas smiled at him.

“I set it. Gotta remind him what I look like when I’m not here.”

To that, Jens rolled his eyes, fishing the phone back out of his pocket and clicking it on. Sander looked at the picture again, taking in Lucas but also the surroundings behind him. The green shirt seemed familiar, but it was the lights above his head that caught Sander’s attention. He handed the phone to Robbe, now perked up a little and waiting for his turn.

“From the first night you met?” Sander asked. 

Jens gave him a surprised look. 

“The lights. I remember them.” Sander offered as an explanation. It seemed to satisfy Jens’ curiosity because he nodded, taking back his phone from Robbe and looking at the phone for another moment before putting the phone away for good. But by then, Lucas was showing off his background. It was Jens, with the same lights behind.

“He told me he didn’t want me to confuse him with my other summer hookups.”

Robbe and Sander both laughed but Jens just shrugged.

“I’m sorry, but he’s hot. I wasn’t sure what the competition was going to be like.”

“You’re hot too.” Sander assured him.

“Thanks.” Jens said, blowing him a kiss. Sander felt Robbe pinch his side with a laugh.

“You’re hot too baby.” Sander whispered, getting a satisfied hum from Robbe.

They moved onto other topics, about friends and family and the upcoming holidays and their plans for the start of Christmas break. With the beach to look forward to, and no school to obstruct his time with Robbe, Sander floated in and out of the conversation, happy to just enjoy the present moment while daydreaming about the future. 

They all quieted down as they approached a Christmas display, admiring the white lights shimmering in the brisk winter breeze. Soon, snowflakes landed on their cheeks and in their hair, but no one noticed, too wrapped up in kisses and each other to notice the first snowfall of the year. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I can't believe it's over. I love these boys so much and have had such a good time writing their love stories. I only hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for every kudos and every comment. Every single one of them means so much to me. 
> 
> Stay safe, stay home, and wash your hands.


End file.
